Gazelles On Crack

Today’s entry was supposed to be called “what not to (Foot)wear.” (A response to the very classy woman I saw on MAX this morning, wearing a men’s cut suit that suited (hee) her perfectly, great hair, great presentation – classically elegant without being feminine – and then, I saw her feet. Tevas. Seriously. I am really, really hoping that she had a great pair of shoes in her bag, and just didn’t want to get them dirty – however, I don’t believe that she had a great pair of heels in her bag, because the pants would have been high-water pants if she had a heel, and who carries their flats in a bag? Who?)

It was also going to have an exciting sub-plot cleverly titled “Why Amy shouldn’t pick out her own clothes in the morning, and should always do wardrobe planning the night before.”

However, those plans have flown out the window.

Instead, we are going to talk about emotional eating (and drinking).

This morning was kinda crappy. Everything is okay now – and yay! for okay. However, there was a touchy 45 minutes this morning when I was not sure that everything was going to be okay.

It’s been kind of a crap week.

1) Still can’t run

2) Have 30,000 mosquito bites which made for a restless sleep Sunday night

3) Had my bag & wallet stolen on Monday at the market (fortunately, my special shopping wallet had nothing in it but coupons, for some reason I’d put my ID & debit card in my pants pocket; and the intrepid thief actually dumped my re-usable Enviro-Sax [which were worth WAAAY more than the coupons & wallet put together] so I really didn’t lose anything except about 30 minutes of time at the market, and my sense of personal safety)

4) Work is busy this week. I am working on a very challenging project – trying to make something that is innovative AND brand new AND confusing easily explainable via a spreadsheet. This is challenging because a) there is no precedent and b) I’m not sure I fully understand what I’m supposed to be explaining

5) The CRISIS of this morning, which was a complete screw-up on my part, but was chalked up to a) Newbie mistake; b) Gaps in training; c) over-confidence in my ability to be perfect – apparently I’m learning so fast that people keep forgetting that I’m new and they have a false confidence in my ability to do things I’ve never done before. Doesn’t matter – I screwed up, but fortunately, it was able to be rectified

So – lots of stressors.

At 9:30 this morning, I said to a colleague, “I think I need a drink.”

And at 1 PM, when I went to the cafeteria for lunch (completely foregoing my extremely healthy eggplant, tomato & chicken leftovers in the fridge), I went for the fish tacos with beans & guacamole. And a lemon bar. And a Diet Coke.

I was about half way through my food before I realized what I was doing. I was shoveling in this food almost faster than I could taste it, because I was “stressed” and deserved a break.

I like to believe that I’ve pretty much conquered eating out of boredom, and rewarding myself with food for happy things, but I sure haven’t gotten out of the habit of looking for comfort food when stressed out.

My comfort foods are things with beans, and rice and cheese and tortillas (in other words, Mexican food). I like the carbs & fat. I used to smoke when stressed (and can I tell you how much a want a cig now – which, even if I had one, I work in an area where there is NO SMOKING ANYWHERE, so that’s not really an option), so maybe this is a little better. (Although I think having an emergency stress smoke stash isn’t so bad. If you could really, really limit it to times of extreme stress. That might work out about as well as my “I will only smoke when I drink” quitting methodology, which found me drinking WAAAY more than before in an effort to justify the number of ciggies I was smoking.)

I don’t crave desserts often, but I have been lately – I think it’s because I’m not running. When I run, I don’t crave sweets….weird, I think. (And remind me to tell you the story of how far I went for a piece of chocolate last night. I don’t even like chocolate.)

As soon as I realized what I was doing, I slowed down, put down my fork, and thought about what I was doing. The beans weren’t very good, so I didn’t finish them. The fish was greasy, so I pulled the fried part off and dipped the fishy innards in the guac. I did eat the tortillas. And I definitely ate the lemon bar – but I ate slowly & savored it.

And now, I’m still a bit too full – but at least I’m not stuffed.

It’s hard to rewire one’s responses.

(In good news, I did 30 minutes on the elliptical last night, and some upper arms strength training. I’m trying to remind myself every day that 30 minutes of exercise most days is better than nothing, and that I don’t need to run 4 days a week to be fit.)

—-

So – question for the masses…..how do you handle emotional eating? What are your triggers? What are your comfort foods? What do you INSTEAD of eating in the middle of the day when you can’t take off for a quick run, or a martini?

I am pretty proud to be from South Dakota.  After all, there aren’t so many of us.  However, every once in a while, the legislature makes me cringe.

Case in point: the new legislation requiring doctors to tell women seeking an abortion (at the one clinic in South Dakota) that they “will terminate the life of a whole, separate, unique, living human being.”

I enjoyed this brief Slate article about the automatic loophole created by the legislature themselves…..both humorous AND sad.  *sigh*

As if the excitement of the bin! wasn’t enough, last weekend, the architect & I went camping.

It all started on Friday afternoon. The architect picked me up from work, and we zoomed home to feed the small monsters, before heading out for two nights of camping adventure.

The adventure started right away, when it took us 1 hour and 45 minutes to leave Oregon. For those unfamiliar with the geography of Oregon, I have this map:

It took a very, very long time to get to Washington:

However, we eventually made it to the campsite. It looked like this:

We set up camp, made dinner, and had a beer. Soon, the frogs were singing to us, and we drifted off to sleep. I actually slept quite well, and in the morning woke to this:

Ha ha! Just kidding. Kind of. What we actually woke up to was this:

Pretty, no?

We had a leisurely morning.

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It may look cold, but it’s not. All those clothes are mosquito protection. After coffee (of course) and breakfast, it was time to hike.

You may remember that I have a knee injury, but that my doctor did not specifically forbid hiking. It turns out that the doc may not have forbidden it because I did not mention that there was hiking in my future. After hiking for about 2 1/2 miles, through snow:

(There was actually much more snow - this is just the only picture I have.)

So, my knee started to hurt - and then I took many ibuprofens. We stopped for sandwiches at a beautiful viewpoint. I may have fallen asleep.

(That is a dramatic re-enactment.)

We hiked back, and then hung at the campsite, trying to avoid the mosquitos. We did decide to wade in the lake - it was not as cold as one would expect, considering it was glacier fed and apparently, in mountain seasons, it was early March.

The architect went for a walk, and I built the fire. It was the best fire ever! (no photographic evidence, just trust me.)

Unfortunately, during the evening, I was bitten terribly:

I told the architect to take a picture, because if it turned out to be serious, then we should have a photo for the doctor, and if it wasn’t, I could totally use the picture on my blog. I am always thinking of you, dear readers.

We decided that it was a vampire stick bite - those crazy sticks will do anything to avoid the fire.

The sunset that night was awesome.

(The architect snapped this while being swarmed by mosquitoes - he’s very talented.)

At about 9:30, the frogs & bats appeared, and the mosquitoes finally died down. At last count, I have 38 mosquitos bites - one dozen of them on my forehead, making me look like a 12 year old having her first acne outbreak. The architect did not fare better. It was warm all weekend, but I could not run around in shorts & a tank, because I only wanted 3 dozen bites, not 50 dozen.

Sunday morning, we packed up & left. We saw many many deer, and the most beautiful bobcat EVER!! We stopped for Mexican food in Longview, and I’m not sure if my standards have gone down since leaving LA, but it was awesome. Of course, I ate enough Mexican food for three small runners on a running hiatus, but that’s beside the point.

The rest of Sunday was spent napping & relaxing.

Today was a busy day off - laundry, menu planning, groceries, getting yelled at by a crazy homeless meth addict (”of all the fucking bitches in the world, you are the fattest, ugliest fucking bitch I’ve ever seen”) and getting brutally attacked by the most vicious beast ever to walk the face of this earth:

Puncture wounds in the neck, and a big ol’ scratch on the arm….sexy!

So - that was my very exciting weekend….how was yours?

Guess what?  After all that ranting yesterday, guess what was waiting for me when I got home?

My beautiful new recycling bin:

Isn’t it pretty?  And blue?  I think next week, the week that our yard waste bin should arrive, I will not complain or cry until FRIDAY.  I am growing as a person RIGHT THIS MINUTE.

Starting in August, we’ll only have pickup once a month, because we can!  And it saves money.  We compost most of our food waste already, and now that our recycling bin is so large, we don’t need to put it out every week.

This weekend, the architect & I are going camping.  It’s our first time this year, which is a little pathetic, since it’s the middle of July already, but things have been kinda crazy.  I’m not sure how much hiking we’ll get in, but since no doctors or nurses or mothers or trainers have specifically forbidden hiking, I’m probably going to do a LITTLE bit of hiking.  Because if no one told me NOT to, then it means that it’s okay, right?  (Much like the time my father told me not to read any of his Stephen King books, so I checked some out of the library - they certainly weren’t his, so it was not breaking any rules.  Sorry Dad!)

My life is so very nearly complete now - what with the new bin & the upcoming camping - that all I need now is for that damn mole that is ruining my garden to die.  Or move out.  Either one.  (I dreamed about the mole last night.  I kinda want to throw a brick at it, but it’s invisi-mole, and I haven’t actually seen it yet.)

Anyhoo - have a fantastic weekend!

Remember once, a long, long time ago when I told you the horrible story the heart-rending tale the mildly amusing snippet about how all my neighbors got their new fancy yard waste & recycling bins, and I did not?

I was pretty upset.

Every week, I’ve asked the architect if he thinks I should call our garbage/recycling company and complain.  It wasn’t until the end of June that he gave me the go-ahead (probably getting the bill with the increased rate for the new bins is what triggered it).  So, on Monday (which was two weeks AFTER I was allowed to call, due to a lethal combination of being extremely busy & extraordinarily lazy), I called.

Garbage lady: You haven’t gotten your bins?  That can’t be right.

Me: Nope, I saw them being delivered in May, but before I realized we were being excluded, the magical bin fairies were gone.

Garbage lady: *crickets*

Me: I may have cried a little.

Garbage lady: *contemplating hanging up*

Me: So, can we have bins?  *finally realized that I sounded crazy, and that she might think I was looking to score EXTRA bins*

Garbage lady: I will put a note in to have your recycling & yard waste pick-up people drop off your bins.

Me: YAY!!!!  Thank you thank you!

Garbage lady: Will there be anything else?  *wants to get off phone with crazy lady who is obsessed with & overly excited about BINS*

Call ends.

So today is garbage/recycling day.  The truck came by at 6:30 - it goes down the length of the street & picks up all the bins on one side, then turns around & comes back.  I watched.  When they picked up our recycling, they did not drop off a bin.  When they came back & did the neighbors across the street, they did not drop off a bin.

I may have cried.

Then, about 7, the garbage truck came by.  They also did not drop off a bin.

I let the cats know just how upset I was.  They were deeply concerned (likely because I was ranting and not feeding them).

Now, I have to call the garbage lady again.  This time, I will not refer to any bin dropper-offers as fairies.  I will also try to act like a grown-up who isn’t obsessed with bins.

Well you should.  Especially right now, because of the picture of Helen Mirren on there.

Seriously.

Read it.

I just hope that when I’m almost 63 (her birthday is next week), I look like that in a bikini.

Screw that - I hope that when I’m 32 (that gives me 7 months), I look like that in a bikini.

DAMN!

So - back to the porn. I thought today’s theme could be “shoes I won’t be wearing anytime soon.” Actually, that’s almost always the theme, but the reason is usually financial & not skeletal.

Example #1:

Pretty, no? I love shoes, as you may know - and the best shoe, by far, is the classic black pump. I learned that from my very cool friend Margaret.

HOWEVER, the doctor advised me to not wear high heels for a while. Apparently it can aggravate existing conditions.

The X-ray showed no broken bones (in fact, it showed EXTRA bone growth - just like everywhere else in my body). So, I will be going to a sports medicine orthopedic guy. Guess when? Go ahead, guess!

If you guessed August 6, you’d be right. I’m not sure why people are worried about national health care & the interminable waits - it’s almost there already (although I’ve never had to wait more than 6 weeks for a biopsy…I’ve had to wait 6 weeks, just not MORE than that).

So, want to know what other shoes I won’t be wearing?

That’s right….those are my running shoes. (Although my shoes are not pink, for the record.)

[I sure as hell didn't wear them on Sunday for the Run Like a Girl 10K that I was signed up for.  Sunday morning, I went to the race area to pick up my race packet (I'd paid for the race, and I was getting my shirt - and socks, too! - dammit), and i wore flip-flops and no sports bra, so I wouldn't accidentally run.  I cried all the way home, because I am that pathetic.]

So - that pretty much officially kills my Portland Marathon 2008 dreams. I’m pretty sure that even if I got the go ahead to run on August 6, one month off running and only 2 months more to train would not be enough….and that’s only provided that I get the go ahead to run.

Also killed? Crazy Weights class. I can’t do squats or lunges, and much of that class is lower body work. Also, no cycling - which ruins my biking to work 2x/week plan (I was doing so well, too). I’m going to have to start actually using the weight room at the gym to do upper body, back & abs. I can also do the elliptical - if I’m careful & stop if there’s any pain.

Swimming has been strongly recommended. Too bad I dislike it so much.

So, this is the suckiest thing that has happened in a long time, methinks. Although I’ve lost 5 pounds since I stopped running (just not as hungry if I’m not exercising).

I’ve got to figure out a way to stay active and have fun without causing any further damage. I’m planning on hitting the gym tomorrow after work for some elliptical and, if I get crazy, maybe some weights.

There’s a pool I can use at my work, so maybe I’ll have to start going IMMEDIATELY after I finish working, just so I won’t avoid it, like I did yesterday.

So - I’m taking my $$ that I’ve saved for my marathon shopping spree & getting a mani/pedi. I haven’t had one for a LONG time - and I never get pedis because a) as much as I hate being touched by strangers, I hate having my feet touched 100 times more and b) they always insist on getting rid of my callouses, and the I get blisters.

So, Portland peeps - where can I go to get an awesome mani/pedi?

And people? send gin. please.