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The worst part of motherhood

When disasters happen, I used to be able to sit back, grieve, feel a great deal of empathy for the victims and their families. And then move on with my day, thankful that it wasn’t me & mine who were killed/hurt/injured/homeless.

Now, I can’t do that unless there are no children affected. When I read about shootings in elementary schools; children swept out into the surf after storms or hurricanes or flooding; or tornadoes hitting elementary students I can’t just move on and let go.

Reading about elementary schools being decimated by tornadoes, and seeing the bloody teachers leading the surviving students out after the storm gives me a lump in my throat that won’t go away.

I’d like to say that I can’t imagine sending my Bean to school and having him never come home, but I can. And that sucks. So, whether you, too, are affected this way, or whether you can grieve, be thankful, and move on – if you can afford it, please give a bit to help out the victims of yesterday’s tornadoes in Oklahoma.

If you text REDCROSS to 90999, that will be a donation of $10.

People react in front of the Plaza Towers Elementary school in Moore following a deadly tornado, May 20, 2013. (Sarah Phipps/The Oklahoman/AP Photo)

Thirteen Months with Alvie Bean

Dear Mr. Bean,

Today you are thirteen months old! It’s hard to believes that time didn’t just stop when you turned one. You have had such a mixed bag of a month!

We started out with more and more birthday presents showing up every day!

 

Captain Alvie attempting the dangerous leap onto his ship

Captain Alvie attempting the dangerous leap onto his ship

Other things were much less fun. We had the allergist appointment with the skin test and found out that you are crazy/dangerously allergic to egg yolks. That is a bummer. Although it does put bananas and avocados back on the menu! Yay!

Waiting patiently (ha!) at the doctor's office for the allergist.

Waiting patiently (ha!) at the doctor’s office for the allergist.

 

Your growth is starting level off a bit – you weigh 23 lbs and are 29 inches tall (as of a month ago, anyway), which means you’re of average weight but a wee bit below average height. Sorry ’bout that. Mama and Daddy are a wee bit below average in that department, too. However, your ginormous head (all the better to house your ginormous brain, I guess) is off the charts. Literally. It’s above the 100th %tile.

You’re using those brains to great advantage (and to my disadvantage, I think). You’ve figured out how to open the safety gate that keeps you out of the downstairs bathrooms (ours & the cats) if Mama and Daddy aren’t careful.

Book club - next month, we'll do something by Dr. Seuss!

Book club – next month, we’ll do something by Dr. Seuss!

 

You are getting more and more physical all the time. You love to walk – and now run – and climb. You climb up and down the stairs. You climb on anything you can climb up. You occasionally fall down when your climbing attempts fail. You use your Mama like a jungle gym, and I think you might be part monkey. You only like being held if you’re very tired (or have just whacked your head for the umpteenth time), but do like giving unexpected and strangely violent surprise hugs.

You are so independent, and it is so weird to watch you just walk away.

Just wandering away!

Just wandering away!

 

You aren’t talking very much (yet, I’m sure). You definitely know your Mama from your Dada, and you love to say hi! You’ll give us an occasional buh-buh wave, but not very often. You do make a sound that I cannot type every time you see the cats, and I’m pretty sure it’s Alvie-ish for kitty.

We Skype with Grandma (almost) every week, and you definitely stick around longer each time.

Skyping

Skyping

 

You are such a wonderful challenge. Keeping up with you is a job of work, and I love (almost) every minute of it. However, between the heat (we’re buying you your own A/C this weekend) and your near-constant teething, your night time sleep has not been what it could be lately. If you could work on it, your tired mama would muchly appreciate it. As much as I love cuddles with you, I’d rather not have 2 AM cuddles. It messes up  my ability to get up to work out in the morning!  :)

Last weekend, we got to celebrate one of your first friend’s birthdays! Your first play date, almost a year ago, looked like this:

Hey baby, I’m wearing a horse

And now you’re both one! (And I don’t have a photo of that from last week, SADFACE!)

I do, however, have a photo of you at the party, all spiffed up in your party gear:

Contemplating Cake

Contemplating Cake

 

You are such a big boy, now!

I know that you’re just going to get busier and busier, and I am so glad that I’m along for the ride.

I love you, little Bean.

Love,

Mama

 

Just following Bob Barker’s advice

Bob & I go back – way back, and I wouldn’t want him to be disappointed in me.

So today, this gazelle is gonna get spayed. (The doctor says I can’t call it that if I’m talking about humans, but I just think he has no sense of adventure.) I am going under the knife small camera with springs at the end of a flexible tube to ensure that Alvie Bean is an only child.

I’m a lot more nervous than I thought I would be, considering that it’s a non-surgical procedure (no incisions, no general, minimal recovery time). When they asked if I wanted to do the procedure with some extra strength Advil or IV sedation, I jumped at the chance to be sedated.

I’ve been fasting since midnight (actually, since about 8 pm last night) and have 3.5 more hours at work before heading over to the doctor’s office. These are my last hours as a mostly fertile person, and I’m definitely moving away from nervous to “hungry and caffeine deprived.”

I’m also apparently moving towards “babbling.”

So – wish me luck! I hope I’m not in that 0.6% of people that ends up with perforations. That would suck.

And don’t forget to control that pet population!

May 2013 Goals

I totally fell down on the job for my April Goals, but let’s pretend that these were my goals:

  1. Get promoted. SUCCESS!
  2. Finalize and submit the division budget. SUCCESS! (Also the reason that blogging was sparse in April, I was busy working hard.)
  3. Have a birthday party for the Bean. SUCCESS!
  4. Run five trail miles. SUCCESS! (Although I effed up my knee last week in spin class, and can no longer run. Again. I am thinking of just amputating the knee. As soon as I figure out how to do that without getting rid of the lower leg. And maintaining my ability to run.)
  5. Redo the nursery to make it a more fun space for the Bean. SUCCESS! Helped in great part by my friend’s gift of pirate wall decals!
  6. Get the Bean allergy tested. SUCCESS! And he was a trooper and didn’t even cry. The egg yolk allergy of death made me sad, though. Can you imagine not getting to eat poached eggs, or scrambled eggs, or eggs benedict, or fried eggs, or a croque madame, or omelets, or….yes, I am egg-obsessed.

A picture journey of a few of my successes (I’m skipping the first couple, ’cause those are boring pics).

Birthday pirate!

Birthday pirate!

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Captain Alvie

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Playing in the Bean’s room

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Where the sidewalk ends

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Allergy tests (egg yolk, wheat, and crab)

And now – it’s May! Already. Crazy.

And I have goals.

  1. Write every day. I’ve been doing pretty well on 750words.com, but did not manage to write every day in April. This month, I will do eet!
  2. Get the garden in.
  3. PT exercises on the knee 4x/week.
  4. Great trail run w/ my niece on our trip to Hotlanta (where we will see our other niece graduate from high school!)
  5. Cross off three more projects off my big ol’ work project list (Serv Fac, X-Drive Architecture, Presentation)
  6. Bike rides w/ the Bean. Often.
  7. Book my hotel in the Big Apple for my August trip (the DC part is already booked)
  8. End the habit of negative self-talk
  9. Finally replace my driver’s license (which is my outstanding item from when all my things were stolen in February. Yes – over two months ago.)
  10. Bring my lunch to work every day, starting tomorrow. :)

Happy May Day, all! Dance around the may pole, but don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! :)

 

 

Shameless Self Promotion

Guess who got promoted? If you guessed me, you’d be right. I guess all the headless chicken running around stuff was particularly effective. :)

My promotion, which I found out about last week, was back-dated to March 11, so I’ve been extra fancy since then. (And finally, my title actually matches what I had put on my replacement work ID badge after my last one was stolen in February! Next up: new business cards and a new office door sign. I’m in the big leagues, now, bitches.)

And, because I know my mom is reading this only for a new baby picture, here it is:

This grass would be better if it came with a side of delicious dirt.

This grass would be better if it came with a side of delicious dirt.