I am the devil…and the rambler

But you knew that, already, I’m sure. 

In the continuing quest to get hell out of LA (although there are many, many things I love about this city), we sent in our rental application. 

Tuesday night, I dreamed that our new (potential) apartment manager called me to inquire about my income. Then, on Wednesday, she did. I am the psychic of the mundane. (For last night? I dreamed about a bill that I was going to receive and a donation that was coming in at work, and both came true. This is the most boring psychic power ever.) 

Today, they called again, said that they just needed to talk to the current landlord, and they were all set to give us a favorable rating. Which is much-exciting. Because that means we have a place to live. 

(no segue whatsoever – just warning you) 

I generally am a fan of nature. I like hiking and camping and being outside. I am even a fan of (most) creatures that live in nature, as long as they stay in nature and away from my house. (Major exception: cockroaches, which should not exist anywhere.) 

I am even, usually, okay with spiders (my arch nemeseseses) as long as they are outdoors and far away from my indoors. There was this one time when I was brutally mugged by a tarantula (it was the size of a VW bus and had a gun), but most spiders (as long as they are not huge, hairy, and packing heat) are okay outside.

However, due to the recent events of yesterday and today, I am thinking about boycotting nature, or maybe killing it. 

Birds have taken to attacking me in a painful and bloody fashion on my morning walk to work. I will now have to start walking a different way, because two mornings in a row have resulted in a bloody scalp, and I am not risking losing my entire head. 

I’m not sure what I did to piss of the bird community (I was threatened by some birds a couple of weeks ago – different birds, different location), but I’m sorry. Is it because the only meat I eat is from the bird family? 

I wish my psychic power would help me communicate with birds, instead of tell me that the gas bill is coming today. That would be way more helpful. What would be even better? If my new psychic power would tell me this weekend’s winning lotto numbers. (see how I tied it all together?  That is skillz, people.  Mad blogging skillz.)

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