Because I am too lazy for original content – and also because I’m introspective & shit

10 years ago…
I was between my freshman & sophomore years in college. I knew I needed to break up with the asshole I was dating, but was afraid of his reaction. I went on drugs for depression. I had no self esteem, no self confidence, and no belief that I would ever be anything more than a fat, friendless loser. (thanks asshole ex-boyfriend! you were awesome!) I finally broke up with the dumbass. I finally had good sex. I met Sara, who has remained one of my best friends in the whole world. I discovered that anti-depressants weren’t so much me (since I am not so much clinically depressed as mildly bi-polar, and Zoloft just made me manic all the time! that was actually kinda fun. for me, anyways). I started smoking to meet a guy. (I met him. We’re still friends. We were never anything more than friends because I turned down the opportunity when it came up. Yes, I am still kicking myself.)

5 years ago…
I spent 8 months at the worst job I’ve ever had. I did a lot of temping. I still lived in Venice (CA) with my best friend from college. I dated the first of many drugged up violent assholes (but this one had a house in the Hollywood Hills overlooking Danny DeVito’s swimming pool). I still wasn’t recovered from Asshole #1. I quit 3 jobs in one year.

1 year ago…
Was the busiest year of my life, up to that point. I worked for an international relief agency in a year when so many people needed disaster relief. I got fired laid off from a job that was stressful but good and that I loved very much. I took the architect to South Dakota for the first time and introduced him to roughly 500,000 people in one week (most of the population of the entire state). He still loved me after, but I don’t know if he’ll ever go back to SD in the summer again. (106 degrees with 95% humidity didn’t make him happy. also, eastern SD was a little too grid-like for him.) I adopted my baby Darwin. I started blogging at Xanga. Then, I moved to LJ. I published my first short story.

Yesterday…
I worked too hard at work and not nearly hard enough on personal stuff. I was sad because I had no Diet Coke. I drank a gin with flat tonic. I made burritos and broccoli for dinner. I got paid. I freaked out about marriage (the cost of the wedding, not the actual life-time commitment), moving to Portland, and not having a job. I was reminded why I wouldn’t stay at this job even if I weren’t moving. I thought about returning one of the 7 billion calls I’ve gotten & not returned. Then, I went to sleep.

Today…
I am going to the Hollywood Bowl for the first time. I am applying for (at least) two jobs. I am tired. I am alone in the office!

Tomorrow…
I will pretend to pack some more. I am going to sleep in. I will go jogging. I have to go to a (well, my) bachelorette party. I will drink too much.

In 1 year…
I will turn 30. I will be living in my first house. I will be a wife. I will go to Alaska. I will be contemplating going back to school. I will be working in my garden.

In 5 years…
I will thru-hike the Pacific Crest Trail. I will be published. I will have been to Africa. I will have a job that can be done at home.

In 10 years…
I will be almost 40 and having a nervous breakdown. I will buy a red Porsche and run off with Johnny Depp. (If he continues to get hotter at the same rate he’s been hottening for the last 10 years, he should be able to kill people with the power of his good looks alone. And that is how I want to die.)

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