Feelin’ Stoopid

So – I want to change my theme. This is the first theme that I ever put in, and although there’s nothing wrong with it, I’ve always wanted to change it.

Once, I found a theme that I loved. A lot. I would croon to it at night and dress it up in twee little dresses and we would wear matching bonnets and everything.

Then, it died. The sidebars went POOF! gone.

And I was sad.

So, I deleted it and uploaded it again.

Still no sidebars.

So, today, many many moons later, I tried again. From scratch. There is a sidebar in existence. The stylesheet refers to it.

However, it will not appear.

Dammit.

Also, I want to add a kicky little sidebar option that shares with the world what I’m reading now. I found the plug-in, uploaded it, activated it, put the correct (I think) code in the correct (I think) place, put in the book that I am currently reading (Oryx & Crake by Margaret Atwood). But there is nothing.

Now, I will be the first to sing my own praises – I am not usually dumb. But there is something about this whole programming thing (once I leave HTML behind, I’m useless) that I cannot grasp.

Can anyone help? I need a new theme (the one I liked was called Tropical Grunge) that will make it pretty easy for me to change out my gazelle banners (I want my own banners), my favorite colors are green & burgundy. I also like martinis, and if I could incorporate martinis & gazelles into my theme, I would be ecstatic.

Also, I want to have sidebars that have archive links, searches, my two link categories, the book feature (which is the AMM plug-in for wordpress) and a calendar.

And? I don’t have a lot of money. But, I do have some. And I do have lots of gratitude. And, if you’re in Portland (or even the Pacific NW area), I will come paint your house and buy you martinis or something.

Help?

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