Alllllllll By Myself

So, I have an evening of relative aloneness. I wanted to go to the Holiday Ale Festival, but was rebuffed by the fact that no one wants to go with me (and by no one, I mean, out of the three people I feel comfortable asking to go with me, I got these responses: 1) I’d love to go, but I have to work at 5:30 at my second job; 2) I’d love to go, but I promised my other friend that I’d go to a jewelry party; 3) I really don’t want to go – I’d rather go home and relax, but I won’t be home to do said relaxing until 8:30 or so).

I don’t want to go to a beer festival by myself, because that’s just pathetic, I think. But, I don’t want to go home all by myself, either. However, I do have an exciting phone conversation planned tonight (which yay!).

And I feel sad. And upset about feeling sad. Because it’s not like anyone said “I would never go to a beer festival with you because you smell funny” – everyone had fairly decent reasons (except for the one who’d rather be at home, but then is not actually planning on coming home anytime soon, but whatever).

I just wish I could feel a little cheer. Tomorrow, we are going on a little happy trip for the weekend (to a BB – with a claw foot bathtub…sigh…I don’t know what the architect will be doing all weekend, but I am planning on taking at least five baths).

Also, while I am fully cognizant of the fact that men & women do not communicate in the same way and that hints that are blatantly obvious to women make no sense to men, I wish there was a better way to communicate what I want without feeling demanding OR evasive. Also, I wish that I could be rewarded for direct communications (ex: “I would really like to do this thing”) by having the male party say, “Since you so clearly stated what you wanted, I will give it to you” – why isn’t it all about what I want?

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