PORN!!!

I’ve been doing a lot of spring porn lately, but due to a very exciting event HAPPENING NOW, I am going back to the classic boot. Although I don’t wear my boots often during warmer months, I do occasionally take them out of my closet to pet them and whisper sweet nothings.

However, if you, like me, have odd-sized calves, you probably feel the pain of not being able to find knee-high boots that fit. I have gigantor calves. Seriously – my calves are huge. I am generally stuck with ankle boots. I have one pair of knee-high boots, and it takes several hulking young men to zip me into them. I’m also a bit afraid that since I’ve started lifting they may no longer zip, but I’m too afraid to try it out.

Anyhoo – back to boots. A company in the UK makes boots that are customized to your calf size. I have a friend who has a couple of pairs and she LOVES them. (She has very small calves, so your standard boot is all saggy on her.) As you can imagine, getting your custom boots is expensive, but having them shipped from the UK adds a bit of cash – and as the exchange rate is not at its best right now (the best thing is that since the dollar is worth almost exactly half of the pound, the mental conversion is easy).

So, I can’t buy any of these boots – I’m still on a moratorium, also I’m not sure the architect would be thrilled if I spent my mortgage money on another pair of boots (he doesn’t care about custom calf width).

But, if I could, I would get these:

The Diana, for only £150.

or maybe these:

The Silva, also a mere £150.

And if I did get the pretty boots that would zip comfortably around my abnormally large calves, at least they would ship for free:

*Terms & conditions: Code ROWSHIP08 must be entered when prompted to do so at time of purchase. Free shipping only applies to purchases made from the DUO full price boot collection, and does not apply to any shoe, accessory or promotion price products. Offer applies to purchases made via the DUO website or DUO telephone order line. Free shipping offer applies to the outbound shipping only, and only to delivery addresses outside of the UK and Western Europe. Free shipping does not apply to exchanged goods. Offer ends midnight 20th April 2008. No cash alternative is offered.

And if you do end up getting some boots, send me a picture, okay?

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