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April, 2010:

And now for something completely different

Apr 28th, 2010
by gazelle.
8 comments

I am not going to whine today! Aren’t you relieved? (Although I get a lot more hits when I’m angsty – either the internet is full of Schadenfreude [oooh - spelled it right on the first try] or you’re all angsty, too, and looking for company.)

I was reviewing my April goals earlier because I always do a day or two before the end of the month to see if I need to change them on my blog in case of abject failure to see if I need to fit anything in at the last minute, and realized that this month is pretty much an abject failure. BUT, I am moving on with my life (and you’ll get to see on Saturday how well I really did on April’s goals). Some days/weeks/months just aren’t the best, but what can we do but sack up & move on, right?

Right now, my life isn’t perfect, but whose is, really? I have a stupid foot that is preventing me from realizing my 2010 of running spectacularness, but it doesn’t prevent me from enjoying time spent with my architect, or my friends, or my garden, or my tiny corn children that are starting to appear. And, if I take care of the wonky foot, it will not impede a summer of biking and swimming and doing a couple of triathlons, as well as enjoying my gardening and generally having a great time with my friends in the summer.

Yeah, I am having career anxiety, but I am not the only one – and apparently there is nothing terribly wrong with being 33 and not knowing what I want and/or knowing but not knowing how to get there. How boring would the rest of my life be if I’d achieved everything I ever wanted by age 33? Genetically, I think I have a lot of life left in me (paternal grandparents lived to be 93 & 87[?] and maternal grandparents are still living and in their mid-late 80s; a great uncle is 97 or 98 & still pretty spry), and if I live for another 55-60 years, what will I do if it’s all done now, right?

So – I will take the advice given to me and take small steps. And relax and take life for what it is – an interesting journey full of ups & downs and a lot of small (and a few not-so-small) joys, right? Of course right. I will continue to challenge myself to step outside of my comfort zone. I will probably continue to screw up on occasion, but I will also continue to own up when I do, and try to rectify anything that needs rectifying (or put out any kitchen fires that I might accidentally start).

And, most importantly, as long as I can, I will continue to try to be a happy, positive person (and I will remember that for me positivity is in direct correlation with physical activity) (and possibly parentheses).

So – thanks for listening to my whine & offering encouragement! And feel free to let me know when you need encouragement – I can offer that (or a swift kick in the pants, if you prefer) at any time.

Ups & Downs or Self-Indulgent Whining

Apr 27th, 2010
by gazelle.
5 comments

Pretty much describes my life lately….I wouldn’t go so far as to call it a roller-coaster, because there is nothing good about up OR down on a roller-coaster – only the end of the ride is good there, so it’s an inappropriate metaphor for life.  (Is there an appropriate metaphor where the ups are better than the downs? I can’t think of any.)

There is a lot of juggling and soul-searching going on right now. There is a lot of trying to find balance and trying to be grateful for all the wonderful things/people/opportunities in my life. There is also a lot of impatience. There are things that need to happen, and they really, really need to happen soon. Seriously. I am running out of patience and excuses.

And I just feel that I’m missing something. I am a grown-ass woman, shouldn’t I know what I want from life and be at least 1/3 of the way to having that? Or, alternatively, since I secretly kind of know what I do want out of life, shouldn’t I be able to figure out how to get that? How does one (giant chicken) really get to live the dream? Ideas? Thoughts? Suggestions? Commiseration? Tiny violins?

When moving to Australia isn’t an option

Apr 26th, 2010
by gazelle.
3 comments

If you are having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, and nothing seems to be going right, and you break a computer, and get lost in downtown for 20 minutes, and just generally have trouble with every project you’ve touched, it may be a good day to skip the dinner prep.

BUT, instead, I made the pan-fried trout with onions & bacon.

In my attempt to remove the fish skin for the dredging/frying part, I mutilated the fish (my fillet knife was too dull, and my sharp knife was too fat….I see a knife buying trip in my future). So, we had fish sticks with onions & bacon.

I spilled the cornmeal.

And the beer.

My bacon didn’t crisp.

The drippings were virtually non-existent.

I was too tired to think things through, and therefore didn’t realize that dearth of drippings + sticks vs. fillet would mean that 6 minutes per side would be a bit much. I also didn’t halve the bacon & onion recipe for the 2 fillets instead of the 4 the recipe called for.

I apologized thoroughly to husband & cats for filling the house with smoke, but was pleased that at least I didn’t light anything on fire.

And the fish sticks, covered with a LOT of bacon & onions, served with some delicious mashed sweet potatoes, turned out okay….even if I left the kitchen a smoky mess.

At least I got to finish the beer that didn’t go into the recipe!

BUT – next time I’m having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, I’m ordering take out.

Training Goals: 4/26/10 – 5/2/10 (Change of Focus)

Apr 25th, 2010
by gazelle.
13 comments

The recap….

Training Goals: 4/19 – 4/25

Monday: Swim – half FAIL! I was sore, so I yoga’d instead

Tuesday: Run (with the Ambitious One!) – total FAIL! I did homework instead.

Wednesday: Triple Day! Swim + Spin class + post-spin brick run – 1/3 FAIL! I didn’t swim, but I did spin (30 minute class + 10 minute w/u) and run (1.5 miles – longest brick to date).

Thursday: REST! WOO! – FAIL, actually – I made up one of my missed swims.

Friday: yoga + trail run – FAIL! Homework + gardening/construction instead

Saturday: bike + weights – FAIL! gardening/construction day (5 hours of hard, hard work)

Sunday: Long run…I am going to shoot for 10 miles. We’ll see how that goes. – well, I ran, but I wouldn’t call it a SUCCESS! I did about 2.5 miles. And answered the question about whether or not I’ll be half marathoning next weekend. It was awful. And painful. And slow. I had to stop to walk twice. In 2.5 miles. Which is ridiculous. (Thanks running friends for putting up with me today.)

Next week…

Training Goals: 4/26 – 5/2

Monday: Weights + either spin class or boxing class – depending on how brave I feel

Tuesday: Run (with the Ambitious One!) + yoga

Wednesday: Triple Day! Swim + Spin class + post-spin brick run

Thursday: Swim

Friday: Weights

Saturday: bike

Sunday: Rest day.

So – the new focus….I am not going to be running any long distances until post surgery. I just can’t. I am going to concentrate on getting through my next race – a sprint triathlon, and then re-evaluate. I tentatively have a 10K trail race + a couple more triathlons on the schedule, but considering I already have two DNS races on the books for 2010, I am hesitant to sign up for anything further at this point….races are expensive, and it’s a waste of money when I’m not running them.

I am, however, going to be in Eugene spectating my kick-ass neighbor’s first marathon & Jen’s latest marathon. And I am going to try to be cool with my change in focus. I can still swim. And bike (well, not in my bike shoes – they’re too tight). And yoga. And lift weights. And, most importantly for the summer, I can garden & bbq & hang out. I’m hoping for some good camping trips with a bit of backpacking this summer. I’m going to learn to row. And then next year, I’ll be back.

(However, the next person who tells me a horror story about that person they knew who had minor foot surgery and now has no feet at all, or whatever, will get punched in the face.)

WOO! Mission Accomplished

Apr 22nd, 2010
by gazelle.
5 comments

Today, at approximately 12:30 PM, I surpassed my 2009 swim distance totals (18,990 in 2009; 20,350 so far in 2010).

I also completed the longest swim of my life – 2,000 yards.

I feel pretty fancy! Also, I can’t believe I used to think I didn’t enjoy swimming. I kinda didn’t want to go back to work! My only issue in my 2000 yard swim (200 warm; 200 breathing drills; 3×400 freestyle; 400 cool) was in my first 400….I started thinking about open water swims, and TOTALLY panicked! I felt like I was at Klineline pond, in the murky, dark, e.coli-ridden, alligator housing, poo-filled water. After I finished that first 400, I just told myself that the next 400, if I needed to, I could totally take a break halfway through…turns out thinking calming thoughts really helps (and I didn’t need a break halfway through).

So – YAY!

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