Sooo…you may remember that October was month one of working on my Aggressive Happiness plan. When I tried to describe it to my therapist, she just shook her head at me. Apparently making spreadsheets to encourage happiness is not so much the best method, according to her.
And to be honest – October sucked. I did not finish the month feeling any happier than I felt starting the month – and in fact, the last week of October was the worst ever.
But – how did I do on meeting my goals?
The stated goals:
- Meditate/Quiet time daily
- No Negative Self Talk
- Take the meds!
- Daily gratitude journal
- Weekly yoga sessions; out of the house, official yoga.
- In bed every night by 9 pm. No exceptions. Except girls’ night.
I quickly scrapped goal #1. It turns out that meditating when you have severe anxiety is just inviting an anxiety attack. Once I’m more even keeled, I’ll revisit that.
But – the rest!
I started out okay with #2 – no negative self-talk, but quickly devolved. I am trying to remind myself every day that I am A-OK and it’s the depression and anxiety talking when I start to feel badly.
I did great with #3 – I only missed two days, one due to actually forgetting and one due to running out of medication and my insurance company being a hard ass and not filling my ‘scrip until the next day.
Goal #4 – the gratitude journal – was really hit or miss.
Goal #5 – yoga – complete fail. I did not do any yoga at, whether at home or at a studio.
Goal #6 – in bed by 9 pm every night was almost a complete success. Except for a couple of nights (the aforementioned girls’ night), I was in bed by 9. Not asleep or anything, but in bed.
So – where do I go from here? Month 2 is supposed to be working on Physical well-being, but I think I need to keep working on the emotional bits, too. I haven’t had a panic attack in 6 days (yay!) and am starting to feel that my medication balance is actually right. I’m sleeping again, which is great (it would be even more great is someone WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS hadn’t stopped sleeping through the night a couple of weeks ago!).
So – what am I working on in November?
- Continue with the daily meds
- Continue with the in bed by 9
- Work on no negative self talk
- 10K steps/day (includes running)
- Enjoy half marathon training – no pressure for speed; walk if you must
- Weights 1x/week
- Take one new fun class
I am not sure what kind of class I will take – so I’m open for suggestions! I’d like it to be moderately challenging, not require super amazing coordination, and be pretty physical.
On a related note, one of my 2013 goals is to try at least six new physical activities throughout the year. Things I’m considering:
- Tennis lessons
- Rock climbing
- Some kind of martial arts/self defense
- Horseback riding
So let me know if you have additional suggestions or recommendations on where to go for any of those activities/lessons.
I’m hoping that I am balancing out now and that I can start returning to feeling normal, even if it’s with the assistance of medication (which does make me feel like I’m cheating at normalcy, even though I would never feel that if someone else was using medications to achieve mental stability).