1. We have entered that time of the year that is budget season. I was so sure I was ahead of the game this year. And then I opened one of the many source spreadsheets that I use and found that in fact, all the work I’d done earlier this week is missing. Did I not save? That seems unlikely. WHERE ARE YOU BUDGET NUMBERS?
2. As I was leaving for work, my phone notified me that my friend Cromer had shared a post from Terry Pratchett. This did not surprise me, as that has happened before. In fact, Cromer is the person who first introduced me to Pratchett and therefore is responsible for the sheer amount of money I have spent attempting to own various pieces of Discworld. When I got out of my car I went to see what new and exciting news there was from Sir Pratchett.
It was a death announcement.
It is not terribly unexpected. Sir Pratchett had Alzheimer’s and last year had to pull out of public appearances due to the progression of the disease. But still. (I read Still Alice last week and that made me ugly cry into my Friday night beer. I spent Saturday at a conference where many of the speakers talked about Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia. And this is real life. Sadness.)
I love the worlds created by Sir Pratchett, but I will always have a top spot reserved for my first introduction to his (and to Neil Gaiman’s) writing.
3. I feel a little drained today. A book I’m listening to said that (and I’m totally going to screw up this quote) “everyone has a graveyard inside them. For most people it’s filled with friends and family.” For some reason this really is kicking me in the feels today. (It went on to say that military people, especially special ops peeps, have friends and enemies, and occasionally innocent bystanders in theirs. This is not my typical genre, but ummm…Luke Daniels is my favorite and I would listen to him read the phone book.) I am tired (Bean is STILL NOT SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT! Does anyone want a three-year-old?) and sore (had a personal training appt at my new gym last night and apparently my right hip is an asshat) and anxious (stress + lack o’ sleep + not picking up that refill for oh…three weeks….) and I am running out of emotional spoons.
I need a couple days to recharge. I’m sure there are other people out there who need nearly complete solitude to get back to themselves. So those of you with families (I love my architect and my Bean!) how do you make that work? Do you just keep on trucking and ignore the missing pieces? Or do you take that time and ignore the guilt because it’s what you need to be an effective partner and parent? (I have a week off in early May and am trying to decide what to do with myself.)