Gazelles On Crack

Q: How do you make a porno martini?
A:

Chill the gin.
Fill martini glass with ice & soda water (the bubbles & ice make the glass colder).
Fill shaker with ice, pour in 3 shots of gin & 1/2 shot of dry vermouth.
Shake vigorously (put the cover on first).
Dump the water & ice out of the glass.
Spritz glass [...]

Last night, I left work (by bus) at about 6 PM. Plenty of time to get to my car and get to book club (full book review tomorrow) by shortly after 7 PM. About 15 minutes into my bus ride, I realize that I’d left my boss’s door unlocked. That is VERY BAD. If I [...]

Q: Can laughing harm a fetus?
A: I think you need to be more clear.  There are several ways to interpret that question.
1) Will laughing at a fetus harm it?  For example, “Wow! You are an uuuuuuuuuuuugggglyyyyyy fetus!” *giggle*?
Yes. that will harm the fetus’s self esteem and when it is born, it will need to [...]

So, I yoga-ed again last night. It was good. I was able to do a lot more than Saturday (I’m sure the fact that I hadn’t recently consumed 4 drinks helped a lot). And, I got brave, and with some coaching from the instructor, tried some of the kneeling poses. I couldn’t do them all, [...]

To whomever asked google, “Isn’t there anything funny about a martini?”
Short answer: “no.”
Long answer: looking for something funny about martinis is kind of terrible.  What is funny about the sweet perfection to be found in a glass of ice-cold gin, a spritz of vermouth, and a bleu-cheese stuffed olive.  Shame.

This morning, as I was walking to the bus stop (gotta love that public transportation), I saw a man combing his hair. That actually does happen, probably more that you’d think. However, this man was likely homeless. (The dirt, the smell, and the trolley filled with garbage & recycling were my clues.) He was very [...]