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Dammit!

Sartorially Challenged

Mar 3rd, 2011
by gazelle.
5 comments

Do you ever get to work & then catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and think, “Oh, honey, no!”

Yeah…I’d really like to say that’s never happened to me. Or at least be able to blame it on oversleeping & running late & just grabbing the first things in my closet.

But the truth is, I usually pick out my clothes the night before so I don’t wake the architect in the morning by opening & closing drawers. So I picked out Tuesday’s outfit when wide awake & with plenty of time to think about what it was going to look like.

I gave my fourth speech at Toastmasters on Tuesday, so I wanted to look fancy. Or at least professional.  (You guys! I had a drawing on the white board for my speech! And it was so awesome. Unfortunately, I forgot to take a picture of it, but fortunately for you, I have recreated it in Photoshop. I am a GIVER!!!!)

I added the labels for you, just in case, for SOME REASON, you couldn't decipher the various components.

This is awesome, right?  You are jealous of my mad drawing skillz.  (This is, by the way, an illustration of a rain garden.)

 

ANYWAYS – so, I got to work, all ready to speechify (and do work) and then, I saw myself.

 

Red shoes (as long as I’m being honest, I’ll tell you that they were clogs).

Grey tights with an argyle pattern up the outsides of my legs.

Black & white tweed skirt; knee-lengthy with a little flare.

Purple sweater.

It was a LOT of look.

I love shoes (I know, right? SHOCKING!), but find it hard to actually put together professional looking outfits on my own.  I need a stylist. And a larger shopping budget. Perhaps both.

I think what I really need is either a) a place where I can wear jeans to work every day or b) a place with a uniform. Like a convent or something, but without the religion & celibacy. And without the poverty. And probably without the obedience. I’m not good at that.

Does anyone else have this problem? Is it just me? Has anyone ever noticed that I need a “What Not to Wear” intervention?

 

 

Taipei City – not as much fun as you’d think!

Jan 30th, 2011
by gazelle.
2 comments

After my awesome trail run on Friday, I had a pretty good day – hit up a Yin yoga class taught by awesome yogi Emily (and got to see the equally awesome Jen in class, too!).

Then, a mellow Friday evening w/ the architect and the Roku.

Saturday, I got up bright & early (9ish, I think) and prepared to take my car in for a check-up. There were a couple things I was concerned about – namely, the trunk fills up with water every time it rains, which creates a weird, swampy ecosystem back there, and renders the trunk completely useless when it’s raining. Which, in Portland at this time of year, is fairly often.

Also, about three years ago, someone tried to break into my car while I was at a job interview, and jacked up the passenger side lock. Which means I can’t use the key to open that door. Which, you know, since I have keyless entry, wouldn’t be such a big deal. Except my keyfob doesn’t work, so I knew I needed new batteries. And new windshield wipers (I understand that the purpose of the wipers is to clear away that aforementioned rain while driving, making it easier to see where you’re going – FANCY!)

So – I drove to the Hyundai dealership, and sat down with my book to wait.

I pulled my phone out my purse at one point to check the time (no clocks in the waiting room – it’s like Vegas, but with fewer seizure-inducing flashing lights). My phone told me that it was 3 am. On Sunday. Which, confused me…how long had I been in this waiting room? Was I in some kind of purgatory? With cable and free wi-fi?

I looked more closely and saw that it also said I was in Taipei City. The weather was set to Taipei (50 degrees & raining, if you care). This upset me more than it should’ve. I tried all sorts of things to try to get back to Beaverton, but alas! I was unsuccessful. Finally, I gave up & resigned myself to being stuck in SE Asia for the duration.

About 3 hours and $950 later (and that’s not including fixing the trunk leak or replacing & aligning two tires…ouch!), I was able to leave. I have to go back next week to actually replace the door lock, keyfob & brakes (which are at the 2/32 or something terrible [no idea what that means, but it is apparently serious, according to serious-faced service guy).

At that point, I needed to go to a FedEx to drop off a package. BUT – guess what? There are no FedEx places in Taipei. So, I just wandered around Taipei/Beaverton until I found one, and then decided to have some lunch. All I could find were coffee shops & Asian food. So, I figured, as long as I’m in Asia anyway, and my phone won’t help me out with some Mexican food, I might as well get some Thai food (I couldn’t find any Taiwanese restaraunts…not that I looked).

I finally made it back to the states – which was nice!

The rest of the day was spent doing homework & whining about how much it cost to fix my car (less than a new car, as I’m trying to tell myself).

Today was another run. A less challenging trail today – Leif – but even faster! My run portions (2 miles! Woo!) averaged a 9:37 pace, and the overall pace was 11:37. That is freaking awesome. An 11:37 pace would work for me even if I hadn’t walked.

My splits (I love this! So much!)

Uphill

Warm-up Walk: :25 miles;  3:43 (14:52 pace)
Run #1: .5 miles; 5:29 (10:58 pace)
Walk: .25 miles; 4:08 (16:32 pace)
Run#2: .5 miles; 5:17 (10:34 pace)

Downhill

Walk: .25 miles; 4:07 (16:28 pace)
Run #3: .5 miles; 4:17 (8:34 pace)
Walk: .25 miles; 3:41 (14:44 pace)
Run #4: 4:10 (8:20 pace)

Awesome, right? I am definitely getting there (or somewhere, anyways). Plus, two runs in three days in Forest Park = bliss…

Positivity

Jan 5th, 2011
by gazelle.
1 comment

A few weeks ago in a Yin Yoga class I was taking the instructor said something to this effect. “It is okay to get angry. Just don’t be angry.”

I’ve been thinking a lot about that recently. Lately, I feel like I’m becoming an angry person. I always have excuses that make it beyond my control. But it’s really not, is it?

So, I have decided that one of my goals for this year (I didn’t post as an “official” goal, because I was trying to only have 11 official goals, which is dumb, I have like eleventy-million goals, I am very goal-oriented) is to be a more positive person. To think happy thoughts.  To recognize the anger, the negativity, the mean-spiritedness. And then, to let it go & move on.

I honestly don’t think I’m usually negative. I tend to be a glass-half full (unless it’s a wine glass, then it’s never full enough!), always look on the bright side, I can usually think of something nice to say, kind of person.

HOWEVER, there are times I find myself falling into this slow, steady descent into negativity.

I will say bad things about myself. Case in point: I was just on Facebook (earlier today, not at work or anything. Not that I’m at work now, posting to my blog. So, really, it could’ve been FIVE MINUTES AGO, because I am at home. Or something.) ANYWAYS…I was looking at photos on Facebook that friends of mine had taken & posted. And in quite a few, if I commented on the photo at all, it was to put down my appearance. “I look all round & shiny!” “Too bad I didn’t run off that extra chin before brunch.” Etc. and etc.

Why do I do this? It’s not just about appearance, either. I can find 10 negative things to think about myself before breakfast, which is not impossible at all, unfortunately.

And I don’t just stop there! Sometimes I say or think negative things about people, places, situations, that really aren’t necessary.

I want to be a “if I can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all” kind of person.

I don’t want to gossip.

I want to be happy, and I think happy thoughts breed happiness.

I’ve stopped reading all the gossip columns I had saved in my google reader.

I deleted the entertainment sites from my iGoogle page.

I am pledging to think positive thoughts about me, and the weather, and life, and to strive to be the kind of person about whom others will say, “she never had an unkind word to say.”

After all, I do firmly believe we get out of life (and the universe) exactly what we put into it, so why take my chances with getting crap back!  I wouldn’t expect to be physically healthy if all I filled myself with was preservative-laden fake food and sugary sweets, so why do I think I can be emotionally & mentally healthy if I fill my mind & mouth with unkindness?

I know this will be a struggle; sometimes I think I’m funny when I’m actually being mean, and it’s hard for me to always know the difference. Sometimes, I get caught up in a moment & don’t think before I speak.

Sometimes my situation at work pushes me quite a ways towards anger, and bitterness, and negativity. And although some of that is coming from external sources, I don’t have to let them affect me the way they do AND I can look at ways to change my situtation.

This will definitely not be an easy goal to accomplish, but something I will need to work on, not only this year, but likely always. I do believe, however, that being nice is probably as habit forming as the opposite – and I’ve seen enough of negative thinking from former friends & acquaintances in the last years to know that’s not something I want to become.

Bits & Pieces

Nov 11th, 2010
by gazelle.
1 comment

There are so many random things in my head lately.

  1. I dream about walking almost every night. Barefoot. The biggest parts of the dream are always sensation. I’ve dreamed of walking in cool grass, with the blades poking beneath my toes and the chill of the grass cooling the soles of my feet. I’ve dreamed of walking on wet flagstones through a garden, slightly slippery. I’ve dreamed of walking on the beach – the sand hot and gritty. Last night I dreamed about walking on (walking on) broken glass. No – that’s a total lie.  I actually dreamed about walking into a gigantic shower that had a floor surface of river rocks (I was at a spa like that once). I wonder what these dreams mean…..  :)
  2. I am concerned that I will not be able to walk very well once I get my boot off. I am getting pretty tired of crutches. My boss thinks I should get a cane (for the amusement factor, I think). I’d be willing – but only if it was something like this (I should always be prepared to slay my enemies, right?):
  3. The morning I had surgery, I packed a little toiletries bag and took it downstairs. I knew I’d be sleeping on the sofa for awhile, and would be using the downstairs bathroom almost exclusively for even longer (it’s a little bigger & easier to maneuver my shower chair in). When I packed my bag, I just grabbed my toiletries bag that usually goes to the pool with me. In that bag is some cheap shampoo & conditioner. Not a big deal for my former once/week post swim shower. However, it has become this huge deal when it’s the only shampoo/conditioner I’ve used in the past 5 weeks. Sunday night after my shower, I was bitching about how gross my hair felt, and the architect (in his infinite wisdom) said, “Why didn’t you just ask me to bring down your good shampoo & conditioner? It’s only upstairs.” And so he did – and my hair is much happier now. And I feel much, much dumber.
  4. Yesterday I updated my blog theme, and it deleted all my custom headers. I completely forgot about it until right now. Hopefully I’ll remember to reload them after work tonight, because the generic headers kinda suck and are not very gazelle-y.
  5. Today is Veterans Day. Although I am generally a pacifist, and believe that we should work a little more on getting our troops home, that doesn’t mean I’m anti-soldier. A number of people in my family have served (or are still serving) in the military, and I appreciate their service to our country.  I think that should be a point we can all agree on!

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

Oct 21st, 2010
by gazelle.
2 comments

Right?

I am so up & down lately.

Last night was terrible. Due to a communication mix-up, the architect didn’t pick me up at work. By the time I finally got a hold of him & got home, it was nearly 7:30. We drove through Burgerville for dinner (oooh – fancy), and I got the white bean burger. I was positive I’d had it before, but when we got home the architect made me look it up on the internets (while I took the first couple bites – I knew it was safe).

Not safe. Ingredient #3: ‘shrooms. Who’s allergic to ‘shrooms? Me.

Apparently, I’d had the perfectly safe black bean burger previously.

So – two benedryl & a couple shots of albuterol later, I was trying to calm down my rapid heart beat while simultaneously trying not to throw up.

That was awesome.

All yesterday, I practiced walking with a little pressure on my heel, and by the end of the evening, what with being abandoned (accidentally) in the lobby of my building for a couple of hours & then having a massive allergic reaction, I was just done.

I had a total breakdown. My big toe is still completely numb, and although doctor said it was fine, and that feeling would gradually return, I can’t help but worry that something is wrong. I don’t want my toe to fall off. That would be so weird.

Finally – I pulled it together & took a shower, watched some Mythbusters, and went to bed.

The pain was BAD  last night, though. I took some ibuprofen before bed (as is my custom), but woke up at about 1:30 in the worst pain I’ve had in over a month. I ended up taking some oxycodone just so I could stop crying.

People – benedryl, albuterol, ibuprofen & oxycodone in one night is a very….interesting…drug cocktail. I had some weird, crazy dreams! Really, really weird. Not in a good way, either.

Won’t do that again.

I feel better today – but am so ready to be done with this (3.5 weeks!). I want the numbness in my toe t0 go away, and I want to be able to put pressure on my heel without feeling like I’m going to fall down.

I am trying so hard to be all positive and stay upbeat & all that shit, but sometimes it’s just hard. I know that this is a very short period in the scheme of things, and that it’ll be over before I know it, and that my life is actually pretty damn good (elective surgery mostly covered by insurance? yeah, my life is hard.), but sometimes, even my positive attitude fails.

It doesn’t help that it’s dark when I wake up & dark almost by the time I get home most of the time now, either.

At least (bright side!) today is my last day of work this week, and it was much better than the two days last week. And, next weekend is my Spooktacular! And then, only a couple more weeks ’til the boot comes off. Maybe I can even run a mile by the end of the year. (Unless my big toe falls off, then the running might take a bit longer…)

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