Tag Archives: food

Pyramid Schemes

So I went to my nutritionist appointment on Monday. Because I am a boy scout (in that I am always prepared; I was never actually a boy scout) I came with a detailed spreadsheet of my caloric intake over the past week.

I think the first thing I said was, “I know what I’m doing wrong.”

The nutritionist (who is currently vying with my new gynecologist as medical professional I most want to marry) said, “Of course you do. Most people do.” And then gave me a handout on something called “what the hell” syndrome. That is not a real syndrome, but it is the thing that happens when you do something you didn’t mean to (like skip your morning workout or eat a pie) and then decide that your “diet” is blown for the rest of the day/week/whatever so you just forget about goals and eat another pie.

I struggle very much with all or nothing mentality, so that is a huge problem with me.

The other awesome thing that my new nutritionist said was when we started talking about ideal weight. I said that I felt most comfortable at about 25 lbs less than I am now, but that I was pretty sure I should shoot for a 40 lb loss to be in the right range. She said that what we wanted was for me to get to where I wanted to be (as long as it was healthy, blah, blah, blah) and not an arbitrary number on a chart. She also said that after meeting me, she thought it would take some pretty unhealthy behaviors to get me down 40 lbs.

So, I have an eating plan. It has a lot of vegetables on it. It’s not that I dislike vegetables, it’s just that I like cheese better. (Speaking of cheese, we talked about calcium intake, and I said I didn’t drink milk or eat yogurt. She said I wasn’t getting enough calcium. I mentioned that I eat cheese. Apparently cheese doesn’t count as ‘dairy.’ Nutritionist lady said I’d have to eat a lotof cheese to get the calcium I needed. I said I was up for the challenge, and she laughed. I was totally serious.)

Anyway – in addition to the plan that is not an all-the-cheese-you-can-eat plan, I have flashcards to remind me to be nice to me. One of them says, “would you say that to someone you cared about? Then why say it to yourself.” To be honest, I wouldn’t say most of the things I say to myself to people I disliked. (There are a couple people out there to whom I would like to say some…things…but mostly I’m a “if you can’t say something nice…” kind of person.

I think that what I really needed was for someone to help me get into the right head space. I need to be positive about myself and find some balance. Those things are way more important than arbitrary numbers on a chart. After all, I have a tiny person keeping tabs on what I’m doing and saying and I’d like to be a positive role model.

Anyhoosits! That’s about it for that. I’ll keep you updated. BUT – come back tomorrow for pics on the Bean (which is what I think 92% of my readership is interested in).

WIP it Good

I think I’m going to get a tattoo on my left hand that says, “What do you really want?” & one on my right that says, “Are you sure the answer is ‘a cookie’?” (And maybe one on my forehead to announce to the world that I’m a Work in Progress.)

When I remember to ask myself that question, things turn out pretty well. When I forget, it’s not so good. Also – it doesn’t take much to derail my entire day. Last night, I stayed up too late to finish Marya Hornbacher’s “Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia.” And then I was sad. I don’t particularly want to be sad after midnight. I don’t sleep well when I’m sad, and after midnight, I definitely prefer to be asleep.

It was really interesting as my eating patterns can be – at times – borderline disordered. (Just ask the architect – wait, on second thought don’t – I don’t want to know what he’d have to say.) Stress really pushes me in that direction. And what causes stress for me? Divergence from my preferred patterns.

You might say I’m rigid, but I prefer structured. I go to bed at 9:30. Lights out by 10. Alarm goes off just after 5. Shower and coffee. Then up to the home office to write for an hour. Morning hugs and kisses with the Bean as he gets up and dressed and has a morning snack (skerel & grips are the current faves, along with some muk*). The architect and I pack his snacks and lunch, I make my kale smoothie and a lunch, and get ready to go.

Then work – usually meetings – and a 90 minutes window carved out every day. That window is for one of four things (sometimes two in combination): running, swimming, walking, or lunching.

Then more meetings and wicked productivity.

So – what happens when I’m up after midnight, full of sads?

I do not get up at 5 (I really don’t function well on less than 6 hours of sleep, and 7+ is ideal). I do not write. The morning is rushed. I got my smoothie, but didn’t have time to make myself lunch. My morning rushed by. I skipped my run (too tired) and skipped lunch (too busy trying to focus on work).

By two, I was cranky and stressed and headachy. Definitely not focused on work.

So, I went to the cafeteria. And surprisingly made poor food choices.

My relationship with food is not always healthy, and I definitely react to stress by either skipping meals altogether or eating all the food that appears in front of me.

I know how to avoid this. Early to bed, early to rise, etc. Recognize what I really want. Make decisions based on said wants.

What I really wanted to do was have a nice run and a small meal (salad & soup is my usual cafeteria go-to). That makes my afternoons powerhouses of productivity.

So – until I can rewire my internal reactions to stress and routine disruption, I guess I’ll just have to get those tattoos.

Probably in Comic Sans. Or Papyrus. Maybe one in each.


Or maybe just a sign.

And – if the answer to the second question is “Yes,” the by the gods, I’ll have that cookie. But if – like today – the answer really was no…well, then, I can skip it.

Everyone is a work in progress (WIP), and it’s good for me to remember that I’m not the only one who doesn’t have it all figured out yet.


*toddler translation key: cereal, grapes, and milk

Scaling Back

So – As you may have guessed, I’ve been stressing about the scale. It doesn’t tell me what I want to hear (see?).

In addition to that stress, I may have mentioned that I am on a LOT of drugs. Seriously. Lots. One of the (many) interesting side effects is that I have a really hard time gauging satiety levels. I can’t really tell when I’m hungry and when I’m full. So, I’m pretty sure I’m overeating. The answer to that is, of course, to eat less. However, portion control was a problem for me even when I could feel that I was overeating. Now that I can’t even tell, I think it’s getting worse.

I eat pretty clean. I rarely have processed foods. I make good choices. Just too many of them. I know that weight loss is like 110% diet and 5% exercise (or something), and I’ve felt like I was failing in that regard.

And then, this morning, as I moseyed on over to my Google Reader, I saw this blog post title: “Why You Shouldn’t Make Weight Loss Your Primary Goal.” The ever inspiring MizFit had a guest blogger today talking about how the real goal should be to “get healthy.” Once you are healthy, everything else will follow.

My son, the amazing Alvie Bean, is starting to watch the architect & I more and more and is starting to ape our behavior. He deserves parents who make healthy choices, don’t obsess about arbitrary numbers, and know that exercise is just another word for fun.

Get this kid a blog already!

Get this kid a blog already!

My big challenge is going to be the eating, though. I am going to have to figure out a real caloric goal, since I can’t gauge on satiety, and then measure out all my portions. (Right? That’s going to be the best way, isn’t it?)

BUT – I think if I can get into that habit (which I used to do back when I was on WW 11 years ago when I first lost weight), everything else will fall into place. I love moving, pushing my body hard, exploring new physical limits – so as long as I ramp up slowly, that will be the easy (and fun) part. (Totally typoed part as party, which yes. Yes it is.)

And a healthy mama = a happy mama = a great role model for this guy.

2013-02-15 10.00.04

Modeling Good Habits

I worry about setting a good example for my son, especially now that he’s eating solid foods.

My food intake is pretty good, I think, but I need to be more mindful of my eating. I want to work on that a LOT over the next few months, because I want Alvie to have a good example. I need to do three things:

  1. Slooooooooooow Down. It is not a race.
  2. Assess hunger & satiety levels frequently
  3. Stop when full.

I am actually pretty good at #2. I usually recognize when I have eaten enough food. My problems are really #1 & #3. I know I’m full, but I just keep going. I like food. Weird.

I think I will be done breast feeding soon. Not necessarily because I want to be done, but there are times when you have no choice. There are a lot of thing that affect supply, and I am hitting the motherlode when it comes to finding all of those things.

I have lost all but 12 of the pounds that I gained during pregnancy, and I’m currently at a plateau for loss. I think if I can start modeling those good habits, plus make sure that my diet is mostly fruit and veggies (I should just start eating the same things my son eats, only a wee bit more).

I recently had my body mass and BMR tested. My base metabolic rate is 1555. Just to live, my body burns 1555 calories. That does not account for breastfeeding, which burns about 300 additional calories (although probably not at the small levels that I’m doing now). So, if I make it my goal to have between 1500-1800 calories per day once I’m done breast feeding, I think that I can start to lose the remaining weight. In addition to losing the rest of the pregnancy weight, I would like to lose an additional 20ish lbs. I want to be my lean, mean running machine self again.

When I think about what really turned the corner for me 10 years ago in mood uplift + weight loss, I know it was exercise. I started a consistent workout program for the first time in, well, ever. I also met the architect. He made me happy. Happy made me want to be a better person. That led to exercise and weight loss.

Right now, I am not happy (although I am working on that, aggressively), but I know I can be again. That I will be again. And being happy is the #1 thing I want to model to my son is happiness. And for me, part of happiness is feeling strong and fit and healthy. And part of being healthy is good eating habits, so it comes full circle.


What I Ate Wednesday – with 100% less croissants!

I am not so much a healthy holiday snack person. I like to indulge. Which may be part of my problem! However, I’m also not a candy & sweet person most of the time – although I do have my moments! The more I run, however, the less I crave sweets. Not sure why that is, but there you go.

So – I love Halloween. And parties. And throwing Halloween parties! And I usually try to have a mix of healthy & not healthy food on my spooktacular snackalicious table of delight.

See – mix of healthful and non-healthful foods. There are fruits! And salsa! And guacamole! And surely moldy-looking cheeseballs are healthy, right?


ANYWAY – the fruit never gets eaten, but the bleeding heart brie stuffed inside the croissant dough sure went fast. What I do like to do is have healthy seasonal meals. I love fall. I love soups and root vegetables and roasts in crockpots. So – last night for dinner, we had roast Colin and a medley of root vegetables. But before we even get to dinner…

6 am – coffee in the BIG cup – with vanilla soy milk. Obviously, I did not remember to photograph that before drinking. And that is just how it has to be – nothing gets done before the giant cup o’ coffee.

9 am – breakfast! I had more coffee – a hazelnut latte! And while I was latte buying, I saw this delightful looking raspberry “muffin.” Muffin goes in quotes, because I’m pretty sure it was a cupcake. I didn’t so much remember to photograph that, either. I did have a large water!

1 pm – lunch. Lunch was healthful. Two small slices of homemade whole wheat bread, 1 oz cheese, turkey, two garden tomatoes, and 1/2 avocado. Also mustard. And a banana that (full disclosure) I didn’t actually eat because I was too full after my sandwich, and then I forgot. I did finish my diet coke. And my water.

Then – dinner!


I threw Colin in the slow cooker before going to work, and when I got home, my house smelled quite lovely. (Colin 1.0 is my 1/8 share of beef. Starting tonight, we will be moving on to Colin, Jr. All that’s left of Colin 1.0 at this point is some short ribs.) I grabbed a bunch of veggies and started peeling and chopping. In the meantime, I turned the oven on to 400*.

Into the big baking dish (of awesome – check it out!) went:

  • 2 sweet potatoes
  • 4 purple potatoes
  • 4 beets (strangely not red beets – it was very disappointing)
  • 6 carrots
  • 2 parsnips
  • 3 turnips
  • 1 onion

In addition, I added a few sprigs of rosemary and thyme. I drizzled 1/4 cup of olive oil over, tossed to coat, and roasted for 50 minutes.

I meant to put in an acorn squash, but decided to keep it, in case I needed a weapon. The purple potatoes, beets, carrots, garlic, rosemary & thyme were all from my garden!

It was pretty good, although the architect did not so much enjoy the white veggies (and my camera phone did not fully capture how awesome those purple potatoes looked in there). I sprinkled with salt and a little of the drippings from the roast, and lo! it was delicious. I loaded up on mostly veggies and a little meat (just about 3 oz – a serving), and a glass of wine. (You can see the very bottom of the wine glass in the photo. It was great.

Less impressed, however, was Alvie Bean.

Mr. Bean has not been enjoying the carrots. This is the third night in a row of carrots, and the first time he’s eaten most of them. He is pretty skeptical, though, and tries to hold out for something better. He loooooved sweet potatoes, and once I tossed the jarred, store-bought peas for home steamed & smashed peas, loved those, too. Carrots, though? Not so much.

I am trying to guilt him into liking them. I grew these carrots, and dug them up, and steamed them, and pureed them, and mixed them with breast milk that I made with my own body, what is wrong with you son? but he’s still resistant. He has one more night of carrots tonight, and then we’re moving on to bananas! Oooooh – fruit!

I am noticing that there needs to be more balance in my diet. More fruit early (any fruit at all) and less morning carbs and caffeine. I used to be a one coffee/day girl, but lately that’s flown out the window. However, If I’m going for more than one coffee, maybe ginormous sugary lattes are not the way to go. Lattes are a sometimes treat!