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happiness

Feeling like myself?

Oct 23rd, 2012
by gazelle.
3 comments

I swam last night, and it was good.

Swimming was the one thing I enjoyed while pregnant. I felt like myself, not like a huge, ungainly, aching piece of whale meat. In fact, to date, the fastest paced swim I’ve ever done was the 1 mile swim I did at 39.5 weeks pregnant.

Since giving birth, the times that I’ve been in the pool have been amazing, and last night was no exception. I didn’t do a long swim – my goal was just to show up at the pool and get in the water. I swam 1000 yds in about 27.5 minutes (which isn’t super fast, but it was done). I worked on my flip turns (just learned how to do those a couple of weeks ago!) and then had 15 minutes of hot tub time (2nd time in over a year!).

I hopped in the hot tub while waiting for the Ambitious One to finish her swim.

I stared at a crack in the wall and thought about how much I felt like there was a crack in my walls and in my brain. As I stared at the crack, I also realized that I felt kind of…good. And then I realized that, much like when I was pregnant, being in the water makes me feel like me – not bulky, flabby, and ungainly. I started to think about what makes me happy.

A couple of weeks ago, I made this list of things that make me happy:

  1. Trashy paranormal romances
  2. Early morning coffee
  3. A clean house
  4. Lush garden
  5. Feeding people
  6. Watching the Bean giggle
  7. Trail running
  8. Swimming
  9. Camping
  10. Watching the sun rise

 

I haven’t been finding enough of those things in my day-to-day life. I know what makes me feel good, and I need to try to fit those things in more often. Besides #6, I have been missing a lot of those things. It’s time to take a step back, not go for the big things, and find the simple pleasures.

I feel like the end of the dark tunnel is imminent, and that the light that is starting to be visible isn’t a train. I’ve felt like this a time or two in the past 3 months, but maybe this time it will stick. There is hope and that is reassuring.

Three (3!) Things Thursday

Sep 13th, 2012
by gazelle.
2 comments

1. I have been sick! And being sick sucks balls. I did go to work on Monday as I said I would. I got there, talked to my boss, and then went home. I was there for a 5 pm meeting that I didn’t want to miss, but my boss convinced me that he would just give me a full report, and that no one wanted my germs. By the time I got home, I was soooo sick. SO SICK. But, Alvie Bean was feeling better. He slept better Monday night, and then Tuesday was all chipper and “hey! play with me!” So the architect took him to the nanny, because I was barely able to get out of bed to feed the wee man. I stayed in bed until nearly noon on Tuesday. So. Miserable. I finally got out of bed and had some soup. And then I reclined on the sofa instead and watched eleventy episodes of Dr. Who. I finally put on clothes in time to go fetch Alvie Bean. I have never been so grateful for child care as I was Tuesday, when I could send him away for several hours so I could be sick in peace. Wednesday morning, I felt better. Not great, but better. I still sounded like a 65-year-old waitress who’d been chain smoking for 50 years, but I did go to work for a day of meetings. (I’m sure all I met with felt great about meeting with me. I did wash my hands a lot.)

2. I am making great strides on my plans for my Aggressive HappinessTM project. With the exception of the days of sick, I have been getting in my morning movement, my lots o’ water (that has happened every day) and been in bed w/ lights out by 10ish. I am also doing some pharmaceutically related things that should help push me over the hump of non-happiness. Mostly meth. Ha! I jest. There are no illegal street drugs involved.

3. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this lately, but my son is pretty darn cute. Even when he’s a raging snot monster and a crankosaurus rex, I can usually coax a wee small smile out of him.

Baby Beethoven rocks out with his bad self

Nothing to see here!

Jan 25th, 2011
by gazelle.
2 comments

Seriously. I expect to return to my regular near-daily blogging starting in February.

In the mean time, two posts I read today really resonated with me.

I am working on the happy, people!

Don’t Get Too Excited!

Twelve Steps to Get Things Done

Enjoy!

Lists (10 things that make me happy today)

May 26th, 2010
by gazelle.
4 comments

I LOVE making lists. Anyone who knows me well, probably knows that. I have to-do lists everyday (for work, school, home stuff). I have shopping lists. Menus. (You should see the monster list that I have made, with spreadsheets and timetables, for this weekend’s festivities.) (I also love spreadsheets.) (And parentheses.)

The weather the last couple of weeks has been a little less than May-like. We had one gorgeous weekend, and then the temperatures dropped and the sun disappeared. My hopes for a beautiful weekend are slowly crumbling away.

So in honor of our rainy gray May, I am making a list.

Things that make me happy, regardless of weather

  1. My awesome husband
  2. My beautiful garden
  3. Having kick-ass neighbors (not just the blogger ones, but quite a few kick-ass neighbors, we are so lucky!)
  4. Living in my neighborhood (see also #3)
  5. My awesome workout buddies – without them, I’d be much fatter
  6. Portland – I love living here, even when we’re not sunny
  7. Food carts (random, I know – but the food cart culture here is fantastic)
  8. My families – the ones I’m related to by blood, the ones I’m related to by marriage (seriously lucked out in the in-law department), and the ones that have come into my life throughout the years (see also #5)
  9. Cats. I really love my cats. 94% of the time, anyways
  10. Yoga – I have been loving the yoga lately, and since I’m not doing as much running/biking as planned, I’m glad I have a great substitute!

HAPPY WEDDING!!!!

Oct 9th, 2008
by gazelle.
9 comments

Today, one of my very best friends in the whole world is getting married. I could not be more thrilled, unless I was personally there. Which I’m not. Because he didn’t come to my wedding. Because it’s a small private affair & there will be a big party later (or else).

Now – everyone who lives in California – you’d better doyour best to ensure that their marriage is still a marriage one month from now, or I will hunt you down and kick you repeatedly in the shins.  (For more information.)

 

Happy wedding & wonderful marriage to my very dear friends.

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