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humiliation

Are you enjoying my hiatus?

Sep 9th, 2009
by gazelle.
21 comments

So, less than 24 hours after I warned you about light posting, here I am! For two reasons.

1. To update you in the continuing saga of how I am attempting to humiliate myself in front of every single person in Portland.

2. To ask a favor.

The Humiliation of Amy

This morning, I rode my bike to work. It was really scary. I did not use my blinky tail light (or, as I affectionately refer to it, my “butt light”), but that’s okay, because it wasn’t dark.

I got to work, and was locking up my bike. I pulled my U-Lock out of my bag, and as that happened, I flung my thong at the guy on the next rack. They hit him. He didn’t look particularly excited to have a woman throwing panties at him, so I’m guessing he’s never been in an aspiring rock band. I had to walk over about 5 feet (I am a champion panty flinger, people) and pick them up off the ground. It takes a lot to get me to blush, but that did it.

The favor

Because I am kind enough to share with you my humilations, I think you owe me something. Well, not really, but I need some suggestions. I read my way through all of the book suggestions I got from you guys last fall, and my book queue at the library is currently almost empty (I do have “Dead Until Dark” on hold, but as I am #47 of 135 on 35 copies, I am not holding my breath), and I need some books! Especially now that I am doing more public transportation commuting. And, since I’ve only read 29 new books this year (Mr. Pi – I finally finished Cryptonomicon, and it was very, very good – you were right), I need to get on top of the reading if I’m going to make my goal of 52!

So – please, kind people, tell me what to read. And then come be my friend on Good Reads!

Lord! What fools these mortals be.

Sep 3rd, 2009
by gazelle.
5 comments

Today is the second day in a row that I’ve biked to work. I did join the Bike-to-work challenge, with the intent of biking twice a week. BUT – I’m thinking I can do 3-4 days (which is all of them)/ week. I am a bit concerned about how I’ll work that out with my Monday swim lessons & Tuesday run, but it should all come together, right?

Anyways – last night after work, I headed out (on my bike) to Widmer Bros. They had a new bike corral & were celebrating it with a Bikes & Brews event. The mayor led a ride from city hall, and everyone who showed up with a helmet got a free raffle ticket – they gave away some pretty cool stuff. I was really hoping to win a bike bell (or the new, very pretty bike), but alas! Out of the 150-ish tickets issued, and the millions of prizes, I won nothing!

I did, however, manage to once more act like an ass in front of the mayor. The first time, I was super bitchy to him, because I thought he was some pushy salesperson in a bike shop trying to get me to buy an expensive bike. It was only two minutes after I walked out of the store that I realized it was the mayor, and he was trying to be funny or something.

So, last night, I was sitting at a table, waiting for the raffle, and drinking a beer. At my table was the mayor, some guy from Widmer (who, thanks be to all that’s holy, wasn’t an actual Widmer brother – because Rob was there), the organizer of sunday parkways, and a couple of other people. We were having an animated conversation about Sunday parkways (which I am in favor of), and I, gesticulating wildly, knocked over my beer. And spilled it on the Widmer employee. The mayor did not look impressed, and that was pretty much the end of my participation in the conversation.

Hi, my name is Amy, and I like to embarrass myself in public – particularly if there’s someone prominent there. At least it wasn’t (I’m pretty sure) captured on film.

ANYWAYS – the event was great. I got a free bike bottle, and the beers were $3, and then I had some schnitzel!