Tag Archives: search terms

Were you looking for me?

Yesterday, I was perusing my stats, as I do, and I noticed that I had three very intriguing search terms that were bringing people to my site. They were so interesting, in fact, that I couldn’t keep it all to myself!

  1. Are gazelles waterproof? Answer: Not really – we’re more water resistant, actually.
  2. No excuses for exercising Comment: You have to make excuses to exercise? That seems…weird. BUT hey! whatever works.
  3. Bear pancakes. Comment: That sounds potentially dangerous, and not that tasty. Even if that’s a misspelling, and you meant “beer pancakes,” I’m still not sold.


Happy Friday, everyone!

Three (3!) Things Thursday

1. All of my top search hits this week are for “gazelle attacks bicyclist” or some variation thereof. I have never attacked a bicyclist, nor would I. This gazelle is a lover, not a fighter.

Gazelles with freaking laser beams


2. I had a flu shot yesterday, and I can barely move my arm….by about 4:30 yesterday afternoon, it hurt very badly, and I spent most of the evening lying about moaning theatrically (not really, that would’ve been obnoxious, I only moaned theatrically in my own head). Having had influenza when I was younger, I know that is infinitely worse than how I feel right now, and I know that getting the flu shot is good, especially now, but I just want to crawl into bed and do nothing but nap and read trashy books for the rest of the day. Stupid meetings.


3. I’ve been having lots of big thoughts lately, which I suppose comes with the upcoming parenthood gig I’ve got going on. A year ago, my plans for the future were vastly different than they are right now – partially because of upcoming baby nomming responsibilities, and partially due to the big-ass job changes I’ve gone through in the past 7-8 months. I apparently like to cram in as many things as possible into short periods of time (between July 2006-May 2007, I moved to Portland, got a new job, got married, and bought a house; between April 2011-April 2012, I got a new, very traumatic promotion, got pregnant, will finish school, and then have a baby [at least I understand that’s the most likely outcome]). My only regret is that I couldn’t just throw a marathon into the mix on that last one, too….I should’ve done an earlier marathon, but it is really hard to go for long runs while constantly nauseated, FYI.  ANYWAYS – big thoughts: I actually quite enjoy my job; it’s kind of career-like now. But it’s not what I ever anticipated doing, and I don’t want to get stuck in something that really isn’t big & meaningful to me. But then I wonder, does a job really have to be big & meaningful? Is what’s wrong with kids these days that they want to follow their dreams at work instead of just doing the mothereffing work and enjoying themselves in their leisure time? Should I just be grateful for my paycheck and the job stability and look for emotional fulfillment outside of the office? Big, obnoxious, thoughts.

Google Search Term of the Day

Yesterday, someone got to my blog by googling: “How to hang out with stupid people.”

My first reaction: “Why would you want to?”

I prefer to avoid dolts, and in fact, none of my friends are even a tiny bit imbecilic! It’s great!

However, maybe you have no choice. Maybe a close friend is dating an idiot, or you’re related to a dummy and you’re forced to sit next to them at Thanksgiving. Maybe you’re cursed with an asinine co-worker.

Well, that is a different answer. It is true that sometimes we cannot avoid the brainless. However, it is also true that for every clever person out there, there is another even keener person who thinks the former is simpleminded.

I tend to believe I am fairly intelligent. I did well in school. I learn new tasks at work fairly quickly. I am well-read and know something about a wide variety of subjects.

I have friends who definitely surpass me intellectually…*ahem*Brian*ahem*…and he seems to be okay hanging out with me in limited quantities. Perhaps I should ask him for his secrets. I have also talked to people that initially seemed obtuse, but once the conversation moved around to something they were familiar with, they surprised me.

Just because you think someone is a dullard, doesn’t mean they are. They may know a lot about something you don’t, and you just haven’t discovered it yet.

So – take some time and ask the perceived moron some questions about what they’re interested in and what they do for fun. They may reveal an amazing amount of knowledge about something you know little about, enriching your intellectual storehouse and your pool of acute acquaintances.

However, if they are truly cretinous, then just smile, nod, make agreeable noises, plot your escape, and think of blond vampires. Works for me every time.



Three (3) Things Thursday

Today’s three things are brought to you by the recent popular search engine terms people used to find this blog.

1. Pictures of emotional pain. I can help with that! In honor of 3 things Thursday, I will give you the first three pictures of emotional pain that show up in my Flickr search.



2. Unicorn bicycle. My only comment: AWESOME!

3. I Suck (this is a really popular search term).


I think you should all thank me for NOT posting any pictures of the #2 search term of all time (probably #1 if I took all iterations): SPIDERS!

* all photos were found by searching my 3 things key words for Creative Commons licensed photos at Flickr.

Today’s #1 search term

The toaster is very loyal.


I have no idea what this person could possibly actually want to find with a Google search like that, but I like it. And I’m glad that they have a loyal toaster. (Actually, I’m pretty sure that they’re searching for @RepWeiner, but I’m glad that for some reason, I come up in the search.)