Tag Archives: triathlon

Just another murder…er I mean manic…Monday

I am back at work. Sigh.

I mean “hooray!” Hooray for having a job that pays me enough money to keep me in Kate Spade purses!


I told a friend this morning that I was going to need to win the lottery because even though last week’s vacation was kind of barf-tacular, I would like to not come back to this.  Of course, I might have slightly better odds of winning the lottery if I ever played…details.

Good news! It’s nearly noon and my 13,955 day record of not committing a violent crime is still standing! Go me!

Mad Props to Me

Mad Props to Me

I’m torn between two feelings right now:




I’m trying to deep-breathe my way to not giving a fuck while still maintaining a modicum of professional integrity.


I couldn’t fall asleep last night because I was so stressed about showing up here today. I got a freaking migraine Friday night due to stress. A real migraine with nausea and black-out tunnel vision (instead of the cutesy aural migraines I usually get).

I’m about ready to quit my day job and apply for the next psychopomp position I find open, regardless of pantheon.


I mean, I’m prepped for the Norse plane, but I could adjust. I’ll switch out the wings for a jackal head, and be set.

amy serious valkyrie

In the spirit of continuing to not go to jail (and I’m really NOT homicidal, random person from the NSA who gets assigned to read my blog…promise!) and keeping my job until Freyja is hiring again, I’m planning on wycwyc-ing my way through the next seven weeks.

Baby steps. Getting the stuff done that I can and taking as much time as I need to stay sane. It’s hard when I feel like I’ve walked into a metaphorical minefield.


But seven weeks. Anything’s possible for seven weeks, right?

In other news, I totally did my first outdoor triathlon of the season on Saturday. And I won! (Go ahead, try to prove otherwise.)

I’ve actually no idea how I did on the swim or run, but I registered my fastest average bike speed of the post 2011 Amy era, so winning!


Fingers crossed that this week will quickly become awesome. Hey! A girl can dream, right? (And in the meantime, at least I have gin.)

keepin' it classy

keepin’ it classy


Three (3!) Things Thursday – Pants on Fire Edition

1. Remember when I said on *checks calendar* that I was going to do a book review on Wednesday and one on Friday? Did you enjoy yesterday’s review? You did not? Because it wasn’t there? Yeah. About that…so I have pneumonia. Which is not the bronchitis I was afraid I had at this point last week. It’s been making it difficult to wake up in the morning because my body thinks sleep is more important than waking early to write. (It also thinks not coughing is more important than exercising, something I am supporting.)

This is how I feel now.

This is how I feel now.

2. Speaking of writing, I had promised to finish the draft of the novel I’m working on by the end of the month. I have written approximately 1300 words in the last week (damn you, pneumonia! and double damn to Alvie’s ear infection). That is not enough to finish this. I’m going to have to push hard over the next 9 days to make my goal.

Day 004

The writing cave

3. The five point action plan I mentioned last week? The one with breakfast and lunch and no wine for dinner? That’s been going quite well! Go me! The activity levels need to be bumped up, but as soon as I can hit a brisk walk without coughing up a lunch, I feel that I’ll be doing well. I have a 5K April 4, my first outdoor triathlon (sprint!) on 5/9, and an Olympic tri on June 7. I also need to run a 10K at some point in April. The one thing that all of these races have in common? Every single one has a medal for all finishers.

I only race for medals.

I only race for medals.

Triathlon Report – 1st Annual Non-Invitational Self-Supported Post-Baby Tri!

After my horrible, no-good, very bad failed triathlon on 9/23 in which I didn’t finish the swim (arguably my strongest sport at this point), I was determined that I would still do a triathlon this year, as it was in my 2012 goals to finish one. Being the end of September, there weren’t a lot of local organized choices left.

So, I decided to just do my own. There were some logistical issues with the triathlon, but thanks to the awesomeness of The Ambitious One (it was not really a self-supported tri; it was an Ambitious One supported tri).

The morning of my tri, I planned to meet the Ambitious One at 9 am at the pool. A series of mishaps and the fact that it just takes longer to do anything when a baby is involved made me late.

I got to the pool (the architect dropped off my bike and me) and locked up my bike then went inside to start the swim. Immediately upon getting my stuff ready, I realized that I had forgotten to grab my small swim bag. In that small swim bag were my goggles and cap. My hair is short enough now that I could get by without a cap, but 800 yds in the pool without goggles is pretty hard.

Fortunately, I was meeting the Ambitious One, and she is awesome. She lent me her goggles and kicked for my entire swim. I did a 200 yd warm-up before starting my watch and beginning my tri.

I did my 800 yds in 17:19, which is the second fastest paced swim I’ve ever recorded. (The fastest paced swim ever recorded still stands as the mile swim I did at 39.5 weeks pregnant in March.)

I didn’t time my transitions, because they were ridiculous…after I got out of the pool, the Ambitious One gave me my swag bag full of powerbar products and body marked me for the rest of the race.

I got to choose my age – and went with my real one, because I like being 35. When asked for my race number, I chose 666 because it was funny, and my standard motivation for almost everything is whether or not it will be funny. (I tried my hardest to convince the architect to marry me on June 6 in 2006 – he declined because apparently he is less dedicated to funny than I am.) This is important later.

After running down to the locker room and having a devil of a time (see what I did there?) getting my sports bra on (damp skin & tight clothes do not work together). I unlocked my bike, put my whole bag + lock at the Ambitious One’s locker, and started the timer for the ride.

My goal was to do the 16 miles that was the distance in the Portland Triathlon. The Ambitious One was meeting me at my place at 11:30 to run the 5K with me, so I wanted to be there by then.

The bike ride was insane. Seriously completely insane.

After getting downtown, I rode through an untented revival. There were hymns and and a great mass of people. And a few of them saw my race number. One of them took it upon herself to call me the Daughter of Satan. Already, the funny was paying off!

I rode along the waterfront and was intending to cross the Steel Bridge. Just as I got there, I noticed another large mass of people on the Bridge. Turns out it was a suicide victim awareness walk. For a memorial walk, they were not very solemn and friendly. I got off my bike to walk across, there being too many people to safely walk through, and nearly got into a fist fight with a large woman who thought I was not being properly respectful. Eventually, I got through the mass without throwing any punches, and made my way up to Interstate, where a car whose driver was reading a map nearly hit me after he ran a red light.

I continued my ride without much further incident, but was very much behind schedule, and then hit every red light possible. When I neared my home, I had done about 10 miles, and didn’t have enough time to finish the full six by 11:30. I did 4 more miles (and was barked at by a woman on the trail) and finished my 14 miles by 11:30.

I finished in 1:17:09 (11 mph average). Every time I looked down when I was actually riding, I was going 14 + mph, so I think if I had a closed course, I could’ve done this a lot faster.

As I approached the house, there was my welcoming committee!

I changed my shoes & shorts & hit the rest stop, then kissed my supporters good bye for luck & headed out for the run.

The 5K was wicked hard, but fortunately the Ambitious One kept me on track! I could not have done it without her, for sure!

The 5K was one of my slowest ever – 41:28 (and certainly the slowest at the end of a triathlon), but it was my fasted post-baby 5K!

When we came in sight of the house, the Ambitious One ran ahead to get finish line photos, and I did a sprint to the finish.


And there it is! Done with my triathlon! Since I didn’t time the transitions, I’ve no idea what my total time was. But it is a PR for the course, for the post-baby life, and for the distance, as every other sprint tri had a 12-mile bike instead of 14. So yay me!


I have decided that my total transition times were likely about 15-20 minutes (we’ll go with the most conservative estimate), which makes my total triathlon time 2:35:56 – which is 45 minutes slower than my next slowest triathlon. BUT, as I said, it was course PR and a post-baby PR, and not having a closed course makes it very difficult.


And now – that can be crossed off my list as a 2012 goal!

Move It, Monday. (Or Move It Monday!)

Either works.

Today, we are all home sick. I will be going into work in a little bit, but it’s been a rough 36 hours. Alvie Bean has a baby cold (which he promptly shared with me & the architect).  Snuffly, wheezy, snotty, and gross. There has been a lot of waking up at night on Saturday & Sunday night, so in addition to feeling like I got  hit by a truck, I am also more sleep deprived than I’ve been in ages.

I think Alvie is feeling better this morning. He is breathing better and is a little more smiley. He is pretty tired, as well, though.

Yesterday was rough. For most of the day, if he was awake, he wanted to be held, and he specifically wanted to be held by the person who could give him comfort nursing. So, even though I didn’t feel too bad for most of yesterday, I didn’t get to leave the house (except a quick run to the grocery store during a nap). We spent most of yesterday cuddling and nursing.

What that means, in terms of moving it, is that I didn’t get my bike ride in. So – triathlon in 2 weeks; 16 mile ride, and I haven’t been on my bike since July? That’s going to work out well. I am riding to work tomorrow (I need to get a light for morning; it’s dark now at 6 am, as I found out last Tuesday), and will try to ride Friday & Sunday, then next Tuesday again. I know I CAN ride 16 miles; I just was hoping to be a bit better trained.

Oh well – my triathlon goals are

  1. Finish
  2. Don’t finish last (A Goal)

And that’s it.

But this week, plans are

Monday – rest, eat soup, drink plenty of water, go to bed by 8:30.

Tuesday – Bike to work & back (about 20 miles round trip)

Wednesday – AM swim

Thursday – PM swim

Friday – AM run/mid-AM walk/PM bike

Saturday – AM trail run

Sunday – AM bike

I know I can do the swim, I know I can do the run, and I know that I cannot PR this thing (besides, the bike is 4 miles longer than other sprint tris I’ve done, so even in tip-top shape, it would be hard to PR). So – I need to just go easy and go hard and have fun.

Three (3) Things Thursday – Olympic Edition

Hi! I totally went away for a week again, didn’t I?  Oops!  I was pretty busy with work, and baby-raising, and running, and having my phone die for no good reason and now I am stuck with a slightly less smart (read: dumb as a post) phone and I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I need my apps!)



Three things that I will somehow relate to the Olympics, mostly to irritate my good friend Brian. (I am not a nice person, am I?)

1. My baby boy started rolling over last week. He rolled over 6 times on Wednesday and 2 times each on Thursday & Friday. All for the nanny. We posited that on the weekend, when I saw him in the middle of the day & he was well-rested, he would roll over for me. HE DID NOT. And then, on Monday? He rolled over for the nanny again. At this point, I was becoming a conspiracy theorist. Was she lying? (Why would she lie?) Did he just like her better? WHAT? And then, Monday evening he rolled over for us, and now does so about once a day. VICTORY! I am just trying to figure out what sport this indicates that he will excel at, so I can get him in training now. I have high hopes for his chances at gold medaling in the 2032 summer games. (I am working on supplementing the breast milk with awesomesauce, as suggested by Cat, who is herself 100% pure awesomesauce.)


2. Although it seems unlikely that, at my upcoming triathlon, I will prove that being pregnant for approximately 2.5 years in any way made me a world-class athlete, thus resulting in endorsements and a chance to train and compete in the 2016 games, I am getting excited for my first “race” post baby. I am doing an open water swim tonight (in a river! even scarier than a pond!), and am planning on eventually riding my bike. Also – this weekend, I will be running three whole miles in! a! row! The likes of which I haven’t done for quite some time. I hope I don’t die. That would really ruin my Olympic dreams.


3. I am having some fairly severe anxiety issues lately. My therapist diagnosed me with postpartum anxiety disorder – the lesser known cousin of ppd. It should start to dissipate in the next couple of months as my hormones re-balance, and in the meantime, when I find myself spiraling into a tunnel of anxiety, I just need to remind myself that this is NOT me. It’s weird. My anxiety is primarily taking in the form of constant worrying about not being good enough – not just at mothering (but go ahead & ask me how I feel I’m doing at the whole pumping thing…if you want to hear about my spiral of self doubt & recriminations), but at just about everything. I have always pushed myself pretty hard & held myself up to a very high standard, but this is approaching ridiculosity. In fact, I’d say that my anxiety is approaching olympic proportions. (I knew I could work that in somehow.) I am trying to find a way to interrupt my own vicious cycle of worry/fear/doubt/etc. and to stop being so obnoxious by constantly talking about my own inadequacies (and there goes the negative self-talk again – see what I mean?).

I thought about not sharing this, but just in case anyone else is feeling this way – just want to let you know that you’re not alone.

mom – chill out & suck your fingers! you’ll feel better in no time.