Gazelles On Crack

it’s hard to be graceful after six martinis

Were you looking for me?

One of my favorite things about having a blog is finding out what search terms other people used to find me. A lot of people have been finding me by searching for Salvadorian Porn. I have no idea why……Well, I do, actually. I once ate at a Salvadorian restaurant. And I post shoe porn. So obviously, I have a whole secret Central American porn life. But trust me, if you’d seen our waiter at El Pelenque, you would not want to link Salvadorian and Porn in the same thought.

So, in order of popularity (and with some comments, in italics)…..

  1. Salvadorian Porn
  2. Buying Me Shoes Blog (I would love to be the bloggy recipient of shoe buyers, but I am certainly not the blog to talk to if you want to receive the shoes)
  3. Anthropophobia (I feel your pain. From far, far away.)
  4. Swivek (yay for Brad!)
  5. Crack Whore Pics (really? ’cause that’s not going to be very attractive.)
  6. Post-Gall Bladder Removal Diet
  7. Tegan And Sara’s Tattoos
  8. Crazy Mondays
  9. What kind of home do gazelles live in? (I live in a 1905 craftsman, but I suspect you’re not talking about this gazelle.)
  10. Gazelle if your mother only knew (Now I’m worried. Don’t you be telling my mother any of my secrets!)
  11. Ducati Charity (people who have Ducatis do not need charity…unless you want to give someone a Ducati, and then I know an architect who would be your best friend.)
  12. Shallow veins
  13. Pictures of rotting teeth (yuck)
  14. Where can i buy corn bread hush puppies in southern california (Aunt Kizzy’s Back Porch in Marina del Rey. Also, try the dumplings. And the lemonade. And, well, everything they make.)
  15. All different kinds of gazelles
  16. The only thing that makes me more sad (is what? are you looking for things that make you more sad? I hope I wasn’t one of them.)
  17. Did We Screw Up Gravity? (Seriously - how drunk are you?)
  18. Prison Reel Mowers (I’m not really sure what to do with this…)
  19. Pseudoephedrine smoking (don’t smoke your Sudafed…)
  20. Unhealthily interested in sexual matters (It’s seldom unhealthy to be interested in your own sexual matters.)
  21. Do decongestants cause my nose to run more? (Well, by their nature, they are supposed to make you less congested [hence the name] and your congestion has to go somewhere.)
  22. I want to get rid of my car but owe so much (My problem exactly. Which is probably what brought you here.)
  23. Gin and Cheese (you are very cool, and we should be friends.)
  24. Who Do Gazelles Migraine (this isn’t actually a sentence, so I’m not sure what we’re getting at….but I like to migraine myself only)
  25. Architects Are Sexiest (no arguments here)
  26. Started smoking when (I was 19.)
  27. Spouse Makes Me Sad (I’m sorry, but mine makes me happy most of the time, so I’m not much help.)
  28. Weekending at rich houses (sounds like fun. Do you notify the homeowners, or just crash & say you know Paris?)
  29. 10k no shoes (OW!)
  30. Pictures of dead gazelles (you are a sicko. please go away.)
  31. Things that make mexicans mad (I’m going to go out on a limb and say that if you actually type that into a search engine, you don’t need any help making anyone angry.)
  32. Leave this computer alone because im going (Where? And how does searching for that make your computer secure?)
  33. Infinity Tattoo (best tattoo place in Portland)
  34. Atenolol (I don’t know what this is for, but don’t stop taking it w/o consulting your doctor. Probably don’t start taking it w/o your doctor, either.)
  35. Bad Massage Danger (bad masseuses should have warning labels)
  36. Massage Made Me Cry (me, too.)
  37. Piles Feeling Of Sickness (I don’t have piles, but it sounds icky.)
  38. Abolition of uterus with microwave (this sounds like a very bad idea.)
  39. Can laughing too hard physically harm the fetus in the womb (I don’t think so.)
  40. The universe hates me (I feel that way all the time)
  41. In love with my doctor
  42. Things that make everyone sad (Well, you do, for one.)
  43. Kiss Me Sixpense None the Richer Lyrics
  44. Boyfriend Is Jealous Of Me Running the Marathon (dump the asshat & find someone who thinks you’re cool for having goals & being in shape.)
  45. Mathematica April 007 Abstinence (well, now we know that abstinence education doesn’t work at all….and I’m glad that I’m a resource for that!)
  46. REI Return Policy Washed
  47. Stuffed Gazelles (that is not right. unless they’re toys.)
  48. Cubicle Whore
  49. One Happy Shoe Return Happily Home… (this sounds like a great story, and I wish you’d share with everyone. we all like a happy shoe tale.)
  50. I Want To Find A Place to Eat That Is Not Going To Make Me Sick and I’m Not Going To Regret (that is a worthy goal)
  51. Carlton Heights (Again, yay! for Brad.)
  52. Cat Puke Prevention (if you learn the secret, please share with the class)
  53. Irritating Roommate
  54. Lyrics Of Dirty By Christina Aguillera
  55. All These Things Should Make Me Happy Make Me Happy To Be At Home Again Song
  56. Necessities of an Architect (well, a very loving assistant/wife is one of them….)
  57. Animal Cruelty Ox-Bile (I try not to think about the potential for cruelty when I take my ox-bile)
  58. How Steep an Incline Can a Ride on Mower Cut On? (this is particularly poor grammar….and unless you’re mowing the white house lawn, get a reel mower - better for the environment.)
  59. Gazelles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (we are very exciting!)
  60. What Are Things That Architects Did? (I think that it’s not a bad idea to practice correct grammar all the time - even in Google searches. Also, architect have done many cool things, like design buildings. Most buildings, in fact.)
  61. Sewer Scope Pictures (If you want, I can post the DVD as a quicktime video, and share my sewer scope, but I didn’t think that would be very interesting.)